A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 25 and have recently entered a long distance relationship (1 week). We met 3 months ago and fell in love with each other rather quickly. I actually didn't want to fall in love, or start a relationship with her because I knew she had two more years of college in Scotland. Well, you can't choose who you fall in love with. Everything about her is amazing and I can't stop thinking about her and she feels the same. She told me long distance is going to be rough, but she doesn't want to lose me. About 2 weeks before she had to leave she told me she will actually have to be there for three more years instead of two. My heart dropped because I knew two years was going to be incredibly difficult because even speaking and skyping everyday is not enough. I'm so depressed that I will only be able to see her on holiday breaks and the summer. I can't visit her because I'm broke. Even after she graduates she plans on going to Africa to help the wildlife for a few months (we won't even be able to be in contact when that happens). I don't know if I should hold on because she is amazing, or break up and move on because this distance hurts more and more everyday.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): Im in a ldr as well, and it is hard. like the last person said, it just dont get any better. you need to have something to hold on to, some date in the future to be together. it is just not fair from her to have you waiting for 3 years and after that a break in africa, that's selfish and she is does not see you in her future. i hate to say it, but i think she does not love the same as you love her. good luck.
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (28 September 2012):
 You're in your first week of the distance? I'm going to be honest, it does not get any easier. I was going to suggest going to Africa with her but even so, that's years away. Why did she hide that there was a third year attached? This is someone writing from having been in a long term long distance relationship. It needs a definite end. It needs to be foreseeable. You need to preoccupy yourself out of the misery. The distance creates emotional distance.The bonding you are able to do face to face and with touch is so much more tremendously powerful than any other form of interaction, and what follows is a watered down version. My advice is to consider the implications of your choice. Consider your pain now and multiply it over years. This is your youth, and you're tying yourself down to someone who is more interested in Africa than being with you after she's done with school, like you haven't done enough waiting. And what after that point, you're going to move to scotland? she's going to move with you? Big picture it doesn't really seem workeable, and short term it is painful. I think you should see other people and either visit each other over breaks or see where you are when she's done with all of her priorities. I'm sorry for not having more optimistic views on this, I feel for you.
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