A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Please help. I have recently been married and had an affair before being married with a friend of a friend. I became quite close to the guy but he lives a distance away and I see him rarely so nothing physical happened in recent years and I married my original partner of 10 years. However, I did keep in touch with the friend and occasionally sent flirty e-mails and messages but all just in good fun. I recently saw him at the mutual friends wedding and now I just cant stop thinking about him. At the time of the affair I thought I loved him but convinced myself I didnt. Now I'm not so sure and I dont know what to do. Please can anyone offer me some advise?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): You are married..Focus on your marriage and forget about this other friend. It's easier said than done, but you need to be realistic. You wouldn't have jumped into marriage if you didn't really felt that your husband was the right guy. Just be honest and truthful to him and things will start moving and you will forget all about your other friend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your responses. Yes I would very much like to ring him up and tell him that for the last days I have thought of nothing else and that I think I am still in love with him but as you said I need to consider the feelings of my husband so it is not a realistic option. I'm sure I will be able to forget him in time but everytime I think I'm over him, I see him again or he sends me an e-mail and I end up back at square one.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (19 August 2007):
Well you have to have a long hard think, are there any problems in your marriage, because generally if you are in a loving happy relationship then you do not get interested in someone in this way.
Do you want your marriage to work?
Feel free to mail me if you want to talk in more detail about everything.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, theothergirl +, writes (19 August 2007):
I think that its totally normal since you had a history with this man before. You can think about it and actually get something out of it. You know whether you want to call him, tell him you can't stop thinking about him. I think its really up to you. It all depends on the kind of feelings you have for him if you still do. However, you should really think about what you want to do because whatever your decision is might really hurt ur family.
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