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male
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anonymous
writes: I'm torn up right now. My EX-gf and I have been together now for 2 1/2 years. I hurt her pretty badly a year ago when I broke up with her. I was confused at that time and felt that I needed to change. After three months apart and a rebounder for me we got back together. And it was good. I lost sight of how important she was to me for a month while I was working two jobs and under stress, and I didn't give her what she needed or deserved. Shortly before she broke up with me, maybe a month or so I realized that she was the most important person in my life and that I could love her until the day I died. Now I'm scarred it's too late. She "likes" sombody else whatever that means, and I think she's going to start a relationship with him soon. I feel like I've lost a huge chunk of my life. I can't stand thinking about her with somebody else and I'm wallowing in self pity. I keep getting hope and thinking that since I came back she came back but I know that that probably will not happen. How can I get over this? I can't see the end of the tunnel!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): Just tell her what you really think, i was in a probably like that little while ago, dont make the same mistake. Tell her how you feel but dont take it to far and tell that you want to get back with her just tell her why you dumped her and let her make the desison if she wants to get back with you.Good Luck and remember dont make the same mistake i did.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): if possible, take that void in your life and fill it with something that makes you happy and is positive. for example TENNIS!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2006): Hi,I am on the same position as you,cannot stop blaming myself for the some of the reasons for the failure of my marriage.Two years on,I still miss him.Only I have found out recently that he is getting married to someone else. i never thought that would happen,we made a deal that we'd meet up after seven years if we had not met anyone. To me no one so far has been good enough.He has already replaced me.
So if I give you one piece of advice,is to meet with her at least once and think out what you want to say and say it with all your heart.Don't hold anything back.Otherwise you risk being replaced....
I wish you all the luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): Thank you both for the answers. I've come to terms with a lot of issues (after some serious pain) and really get the sense that she still wants to be with me, even though she's with a new guy. She's behaving exactly the same way I did 1 year ago when I was still confused, and I came back to our relationship for a reason - it's good (sometimes! :-)) She still calls me at night (after she goes out with her new interest) and stays in pretty close contact with me. It's possible that she just wants to hurt me more because I ripped her heart out, but I also think that when she finishes up with this guy (I think she's on the rebound) she may be ready to give our relationship another shot. I've decided to not feel depressed, I'm moving out of my mothers house, up for a promotion at my job, and gettin' on with it. I have a new perspective on my pain and a new way of dealing with it. I don't just swallow it, but I am able to control my emotions, and to understand what she needs to do for better or for worse. I'm going to wait for her for a little while without getting emotionally involved in her current situation, and hope for the best. The worst is over. Thanks
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): First, write her a letter telling her how much you regret your actions, and how you understand why she broke it off with you. Apologize. Then tell HER how you think of her, and ask her if she still has any feelings for you. Explain what was going on that put you under stress, and what it did to you. Maybe, she will still take an interest in you. After all, she has 2 1/2 years invested in you, too.
But, prepare for her to not respond. You will at least have the satisfaction of letting her know that you love her still, and will always love her, and that you are man enough to admit being an ass ! Keep a copy of your letter so you can read it over whenever you get feeling down and lonely. Then, suck it up, and move on. One of the hard lessons we all learn in life is there are consequences to our bad actions, and we don't always get what we want, much less deserve. And sometimes we deserve a kick in the pants, and don't get that, either. So, when you think you have been kicked twice or more, and only deserve one boot in the butt, slow down, and think about your life. Maybe God is just catching up on the butt kicking you deserved and missed sometime before ! Remember her, but remember how stupid you were to her, too. Then find someone new to date, and get on with your life. You will find someone else. I know that seems impossible, but it happens to most people sooner or later. But do remember all the terrible things you did to tear apart that relationship, and try to do better the next time. No one is perfect, and I am sure your former gf is not perfect either. But, it helps if we all try to do a little better and learn from our mistakes.
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A
female
reader, Mirabell +, writes (7 December 2005):
 C'mon. Grow some cahones. You hurt her, honey. She has to hurt you if you ever have a chance at getting back together. What if she didn't do this? Would you respect her as much if she just forgave everything and jumped into her arms?
She went through this when you messed up, remember??
Buck up. You can handle this. If you love her that much you have to understand that she feels slighted and may have told herself that she has to move on.
The good thing is that the two of you have history together, the longer the better.
You have one plan of action: If you really truly love her, I mean 'want her back no matter what' love her, improve yourself and go win her back.
She'll have to be impressed.
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