A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend that I love very much. I'm physically attracted to him, but there are things that I just do not like to do with him any more. I like cuddling and hugging and small bits of affection, but I am completely turned off by the idea of kissing him (and only him, I can picture myself kissing other people) and by association, sex. He smokes and has no intention of quitting, so I think that's part of it. I know my lack of interest in kissing him is having an effect on the relationship. I just keep holding out for when he loses interest, but he just doesn't. I don't want to hurt him or end the relationship, because otherwise we fit very well together. But showing affection by way of kissing/sex is important to him and I am wondering if I am prolonging the inevitable by staying with him, despite my hangups. I just can't seem to get over it. I feel like I will regret it if I end the relationship, but I will end up hurting him a little bit every day if I recoil from his advances.
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kissing, smokes Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): Talk to him openly and nicely.Do not force him to quit.kissing is the most romantic part of your love life.Tell him that you want to kiss but can't.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): Doesn't sound like you are attracted to him at all. I understand smoking can be a turn-off, but not to the point that you don't want to have sex w/him.
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