A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My roommate's habits are filthy and dirty. She pokes her nose,spits everywhere and is really dirty! I can't stand it. But i can't even say it straight to her.Please help!
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male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (18 April 2010):
When she does a behavior you find repulsive, let your needs be known. Tell her to go into the toilet and do the behavior with the door closed and that it disturbs you.
Find a new roommate, and this time express the rules prior to agreeing to share a flat. Dump this one as soon as possible.
Tell her that you choose not to live in conditions such as this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): I had a roommate that was rather messy as well, though it doesn't sound like I had as many issues as you. To tackle it I would address a new issue every week until everything was taken care of. Although he is by no means perfect, things are much better and certainly tolerable now.
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A
female
reader, Just Diana  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 Tell her. Be honest. If not, put up with her dirty habits!She is already freaking you out, so whats the worst that can happen after your being upfront with her. If she gets annoyed at least you would have purged yourself from the disgust of her, and in doing so feel lighter about your self.If she gets defensive...good....it means the truth of what you have said got to her, which will enable her to change her ways.I suggest you convey her piggness to her in a civil respectful fashion though. Perhaps you could start off by affirming the good things you like about her, then gently add that their are somethings that have been bothering you which you feel you would like to address with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): I would write it.The great thing with a courteous, clear, written message of what you want is it reduces the risks and discomfort of a physical confrontation.I would do it as a formality, just like the written agreement I assume you have with your landlord or with each other. Start with a buffer; mention what things you appreciate about her and/or the arrangement. Explain that since you share the same space, you would appreciate some modifications to reduce your discomfort and increase the peace and cleanliness of your own home. Kindly state it would be of great service if she moved the FOLLOWING THINGS out of the common areas. Then buffer the message again with a new point of something you appreciate relative to her or your arrangement, and finish with a positive comment showing how you are looking forward to a pleasant ongoing working relationship, such as, "I look forward to a pleasant time as roommates, and thanks for your time in reading this."
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 That is a disgrace. I hope you can make some arrangement to either remove yourself from that room or find another replacement.
If you cannot,you will have to educate her on personal hygiene's.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): Your problem is One i had previously. The thing you can't tell her straight. I cudnt tel my room mate. YOU can try Giving her Ordinary hints That her habits are FILTHY. Here Education About hygeine is Required. Take it easy.
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