A
female
age
41-50,
*el_82
writes:I'm really confused and am wondering if anyone can help me understand my situation more please.I split up with my boyfriend in September 2007 but we stayed friends, then in November 2007, after a short relationship with another girl, he asked me to move in as his housemate. I thought about it and after careful consideration decided to do it. Things are great and at one point we started drifting back together, then he decided it wasn't right that we should get back together.My problem is I still love him and he now has a new girlfriend he's been with for about three months and I can't stand it. I tried to get to know her and be friends with her to make being around each other easier but it didn't help me at all. I found that she has similar interests to me and now I'm starting to resent her for taking away the man I love. I've talked to him about it and told him I was moving out so he could have his space with her. He was very upset by this decision and tried to talk me into staying even offering that she wouldn't come to the house while I'm in if I don't want her to.What confuses me is why is he doing this when he's told me he cares about me but doesn't love me? and why does he want me to stay when he could advertise for someone else to move in with him?Please help I'm so confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): :O
Well ive just split with my boyfriend and i am about to move in with him as we are still friends. You have really opened my eyes to what could happen thank you.
However in your case yes i think you should move out as you are obviously very jealous and even though you are in love with him he has unfortunately moved on and is with some one else. you need to move out and find someone you love or stay single and just have fun!
good luck
xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Whatever his reasons, you care for him still and he is with someone else, so I think you would do better to move out and see a lot less of him, rather than have a daily reminder of what you can't have. Just tell him it like it is, and move out. Like you say, he can find a flatmate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): I wonder what things you considered before moving in with him. Did you perhaps think you could be an item once more? Were you getting your hopes up that this might happen?
The big stumbling block is tha fact that you're still in love with him, but the other fact is that he's not in love with you or you'd still be together.
He obviously thinks you can be best mates and live happily in this situation, and it's equally obvious that you can't accept that he's moved on which will tear you apart sooner or later. It's a one-sided relationship and it doesn't look as if it's ever going to work out the way you'd like.
I think for your own sanity you need to move out, then you won't have his new girl being shoved in your face all the time, and you'll be able to get on with the rest of your life - hopefully with someone new who loves you just as much as you love him - and they can get on with theirs.
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