A
female
age
41-50,
*d35
writes:I've been with my bf for over 3 years and we are living together almost 2. a couple of weeks ago i casually brought up the topic of kids , i said that this was something that i was starting to think about as i have just turned 35. he was horrified and made remarks like i was 'ambushing' him and that i was acting 'weird'. I was really shocked, the next day i asked him if he had ever thought about us together in the future long term and he said he had honestly never even thought about it! (even though we have talked of buying a house together, he has said several times about 'when we retire we will ..') so i am at a loss and really starting to question if i should be with this man at all. he was married and divorced 10 years ago and has a grown up daughter. . Sometimes i think that he has the attitude of 'been there done that' however he really doesnt seem to want to hear how i feel or what i want, thinks he is being attacked! i dont know how to tell him that if he really feels this way then i have to seriously consider the relationship . .i mean he is perfectly happy to have me as the live in girlfriend but i think i deserve more, i want proper commitment, he says he loves me and is happy but i am starting to feel resentful of the fact that he doesnt love me enough. I would really appreciate some advice on how to think clearly about this issue - i dont want to hang around for another 3 years waiting for him to change his mind! im 35 and he is 38 , even when i seen him holding a small child yesterday i felt angry!!!! HELP!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 April 2010):
Move on right NOW. If you are looking for children and commitment, you are with the wrong man. He is not interested at all in kids or anything more serous that what you have together at the moment.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 I would move on from this man if I were in that situation. If he is giving you no hope that the future you want is not what he's prepared to give you then why waste your time on him. Time moves so fast and if you stick with him hoping he'll change his mind before you know it you'll be in your 40's and it'll be too late to do the things you want to do. Move on now and find someone who shares the same ideas and hopes as you.
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