A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am currently in a reaionship which is due to be a year this february. I do not and can never like him. We women date for two reasons, either for love or because we need something from the guy. Yes I needed something from the guy and i know he wouldn't help me if we werent dating. I gave him a chance to see if he could prove me wrong but... i am so disgusted by him right now, he is so young, local and immature, at his age, 23, he still has to ask for permission to go out...cuting the long story short...I cannot stand him. I am in the process of building my house and do not want any of my family to know as they are very evil people and can at any cost hinder my progress. Whenever i am like lets go to the building site, he would say with my car, anytime we go out I pay, if there is any trouble, he would run to me like a chicken, he cannot drive long distances, everything always has a story, and hes unemployed and lazy. i think what initially drew me to him was what i thought was a competitive spirit, it was all bluff. LIKE i am his SAVIOUR. I really am at my breaking point and yes I do not like him and would have broken up with him at a later time but I cant stand him anymore but I still need him for minor things. Should I just leave him and be platonic friends with him because I have some property in his house that I am not ready to move or completely severe my relationship with him.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 February 2015):
 “We women date for two reasons, either for love or because we need something from the guy”
NO YOU do that OP… do NOT speak for ALL women. How utterly offensive.
How can you consider it a relationship when you don’t like the guy and know you won’t ever like him?
So you are using him... do you lie to him about this and pretend you like him? if not then well as long as he knows you can't stand him and are using him then it's fine because it's his choice.
what is he getting out of this use and abuse situation?
i would sever my relationship with him. IF you are wealthy enough and mature enough to be building your own house.. get a storage locker, hire a truck and move your stuff.
DO NOT USE people, in the long run it reflects badly on you.
A
female
reader, mrspiggy  +, writes (3 February 2015):
 I'd say there was 1 reason to date!?! You're being quite cruel. You are using him and being very unfair. If the rolls were reversed would you think it was okay?
Break up with him and let him find someone worth his time.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (3 February 2015):
I do not see how you are in a relationship if you can't stand the person. The only thing you are doing is allowing hate to build up inside you.
You know what kind of "man" you are interested in, so go find it. Plus, you do not need to be with someone just to get something only so you can hate them...that is not really nice at all.
Simply put...You never date anyone for two reasons. There should only be one reason you date someone. If you are not dating out of love, then you should not be dating.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (2 February 2015):
 Relationships are in a way a transaction of services, with or without love. You are not the first one to stay beyond the expiry date, and won't be the last. It depends on what you need from him. I had done it before because I needed someone to watch my son when I went out of country and I knew nobody else. I had no family support. However disgusting he seems, you needed him so you could ride it out although he knows when you stop loving him but just can't be 100% sure. I had no regrets, no issues with conscience. If something is wrong it's society, dysfunctional families and the isolation between people.
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