A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I fell in love with a wonderful woman when i was going thru my divorce but I have a major issue. She was separated from her husband when she was with me and went back and forth a couple of times but now she assures me she is done with him and we have been together for about a year now after her flip flops. She has her divorce in the court system and I am counting the days. Her ex says he wants her back and is always testing the waters but she stays faithful and he finds some one night stand to satisfy his needs. I trust her and believe her and i know i am afraid of getting hurt again. I just cant stand him around her. I see him as a bad influence to her, a corruptor so to speak, looking for that one weak moment again. She has been trying to keep him out of her life but they have kids together and lots of doc appointments to go with those kids. I the other part is that for a while I was not allowed around her when she was going to be around her ex per his wishes(he didn't want to know i existed). He also lives in her moms basement so it makes it difficult since I cant be around her when she attends family events with him and kids. I don't know how to get over this and its killing us. Is it me or something else
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (11 June 2009):
 Just coming out of a divorce (or about to be divorced) I think she's weighing her options. She's probably not ready to settle into something permanent with anyone and it sounds like she has some oats to sow. Be prepared for a bumpy ride ahead. When her divorce is final, she may go cmopletely wild and start partying, going out, doing all the things she missed out on when she was married. You may need to step back and see if she can get it out of her system, or just move on. I think you're headed for disaster expecting any kind of faithfulness from her. xoxox
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK, today I was having some trust issues with her texting jokes to her soon to be ex and another man. I was explaining my feelings and issues, she got upset and wouldn't talk. Then latter we were sitting in our bed she was on the laptop. She was checking out an old classmate friend she seen on a spam email ad. Then she couldn't pay attention to me laughing about a few odd things and before she could fully answer my question I had to read the answers on an e=mail that she was sending to another ex. then while she was checking out his myspace she found another ex and some school friends. I had to watch her go thru this page and when I ask questions they were short. Then this other guy she texted earlier that is a brother to her best girlfriend called to ask her out for drinks. Him and her went out for drinks while we were split up but is not a date because his girlfriend showed up that treats him like shit.. Needless to say I flipped and had to be alone to cool down. I ask her not to talk to these men till i get this fixed and she is bothered by that she is not my property. Is this missed place jealousy? Am I going insane? It just feels like my heart is crushing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): you have major trust issues about her. the fact that she could not make up her mind previously makes you also now doubt her. only you can decide what to do going forward.
just be careful. i don't think she is completely over him. and i think you know it deep down. can you live with this unsettling relationship- perhaps also being her second best???
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (29 April 2009):
 its hard yes, and the whole situation is uncomfortable and not fair for you. but since she has kids she is always going to have him in her life. i know it sucks but thats something you can not change. trust her, if shes done shes done, but my husband and i have been through break ups were would leave and be back three days later to try and make it work for our sons sake. maybe as hard as it will be, take a break from her for a little bit until she has made up her mind. a divorce request can still be pulled if requested by both the partners i believe
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (29 April 2009):
I would imagine once her divorce is final all these weird games of hide-the boyfriend will go away and you can accompany anywhere she goes. This will probably go a long ways toward making you feel better.
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A
female
reader, griffingirl +, writes (29 April 2009):
I worry about that with my boyfriend. He has gone back to his old girlfriend 2 times- but this time he proised me that I was the only one in his life. I think you should trust her- girls won't go back many times!! I know that for sure!!
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