A
male
age
36-40,
*onfusedude8888
writes: think my girlfriend cheated on me but she denies it. She had a very dramatic event occur in her life and had to go stay with family friends for a couple of months. The family had a son near her age who she opennly admitted she found attractive. From the interactions she would describe it was very clear that he was interested in her from the start. Even though he had a gf of his own he was intent on being way overly friendly and concerned about my gf. I told her I was concerned about his intentions and she said she would be sure to be respectful and not put herself in situations that would seem inappropriate or bother me too much. She rarely mentioned him except to inform me that his gf broke up with him and that he was a jerk and being mean to everyone in the house. And once while we were being intimate over the phone he walked in on her claiming he was just telling her dinner was ready. She said he apologized and what not. She made it seem like they never hung out and that she had a very low opinion of him. Yet, I found out in conversations that she had drank with him on several occasions and not told me about it until much later. I asked if he ever made a move or confessed his feelings for her, she said no. But a few months later after she had returned home she let it slip in conversation that he had in fact expressed his intentions and interest in her. She claims she didn't tell me about it because she could handle it and that she didn't want me to doubt her feelings for me. I can't get it out of my mind that she lied about it at first though. I asked if anything else went on and she denies that anything else happened at all but its always gnawing at me. She said she needed a friend and at first he was so nice to her and she knew it would bother me if I knew she was spending a lot of time hanging out with him. She said they occasionally text and he calls but claims she doesn't have much to say to him now. I don't know am I just being paranoid? I feel like there is more there since she was being so secretive about it to start with and then got really annoyed and angry when I asked questions.I should add that this has been a strictly long distance relationship which has made it difficult to I guess feel satisfied with her response. also though she does get very defensive and annoyed she does hang in there and answer my questions. She is very kind and understanding, but I can't shake the feeling that she might not be being completely honest about things.
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broke up, cheated on me, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (16 August 2013):
Based on my own past experiences, there is a good chance she cheated on you. I don't like the fact that she has to hide so many things from you and seems like she will continue to deny anything you ask her. There's are just too many red flags for me that I will never like and will cause me more stress than anything. I also don't like that this is a long distance relationship, I really feel like you will get hurt in the end because the signs aren't in your favour.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (16 August 2013):
 I can understand your doubts if she lied about being friends and the fact they did hand out, your GF chose to lie and this resulted in the doubts that you now have. It seems like you will never know and that will create a strain the relationship. You need to decide if you can accept things the way the are and let your doubts go or you need to have a break from this relationship in order to work on what you are currently feeling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2013): Probably if she had been more up front with you about this guy you wouldn't be feeling like this. But she will tell you one thing, and then later you stumble on to more details which makes you wonder 'what else is she hiding' for the sake of "protecting" me? It's all pretty suspicious to me. I think she likes this guy's attention more than she lets on. And maybe initially things were innocent. Or maybe she figured out his personality and she is backing away because of it. Either way, it's hard to have a long distance relationship with someone who is still hiding things and making excuses. Even if she's not doing anything wrong, the way she is going about it makes you wonder. She needs to stop leaving out important details because it's creating a cloud of mistrust. Good luck.
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