A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I need to know if this guy likes me or not. We are just friends, but i know he is attracted to me because he has mentioned he is.I have a huge crush on him.I know we have a connection because we have talked on the phone for 6 hours straight before, but since then it seems like he doesnt wanna get closer to me.The problem is he gives me mixed signals. He always texts me last minute to make plans to hang out as friends but i never go because I already have plans. He never wants to do anything in advance which irritates me.He also texts me late at night and asked me to come over so i stopped responding to him at all for a month.Then he actually made plans with me in advance a week ago which surprised me .So he took me out and we had a good time he introduced me to his cousin, we went out to eat it was nice. He did nothing disrespectful when we hung out he didnt even try to kiss me at the end but just gave me a really tight hug.He said he had such a good time and wanted to do it agian. But now hes making the last minute plans agian and texting me at 2am asking me to come over. It makes me think he just wants sex,but when we hung out in person it didnt seem like it at all. It seems like we take a good step forward then everything stops like he running away. But when i let go he comes back. what is this??
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 August 2013):
 I'm thinking sadly he's just not that into you...
and you are wise to not respond to late night texts or last minute activities...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2013): Sounds like he wants sex, and he only does what's appropriate to get your defenses down. He acts like he doesn't want sex on a date; because he's not buzzed, and it's not 2:00am in the morning.
When he's sober and on his best behavior, he's a totally different guy.
As long as you don't come over, you'll keep his respect. If you respond to his "booty-calls," it will become a habit.
Ignore them.
Tell him that you prefer that he plan dates in advance to allow you to plan and prepare. If he doesn't, it forces you to have to decline his last minute invitations. Tell him it makes you feel like its last minute; because he had nothing else to do. You deserve better than that.
It's one thing to be spontaneous, but if it's done repetitively; it's because he's a bad planner and doesn't have respect for your time.
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