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I can't seem to relax my brain, do you have a suggestion please??

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Question - (30 April 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2011)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have a lots of anxiety, and my brain never can rest. . they recomandeded meditation to me many times. I was hoping ,it will help..

I really dont why , but meditation never worked for me.

It is not effective to me, no matter what I try. I listend many instructions, and tried many forms. But with no real results.

My question is, how is it ever going to stop, that the thoughts are keep coming? Is this true, that you can totally stop thinking? Some people clames, they even leave their body , or just feel nothing at all....

I don't know if meditation is a bunch of bunks, and I m' just looking for something , what does not exist. Or ,I just can't find a good way? Please tell me ,if you know anything about this..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011):

Are these specific thoughts that keep coming and bugging you, making you anxious? Have you tried dealing with each of them specifically? I like the idea of writing things down, without censoring. It helps in dealing with them.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (1 May 2011):

chigirl agony auntI think it just takes a lot of time before you find your meditation position/feeling.

I know this is not politically correct, and by all means don't get yourself addicted. But do you drink alcohol? It's not that crazy to get a bit tipsy before meditating. Alcohol numbs you enough to relax better. The shamans used drugs to reach the spirit level, and alcohol is a drug like any other. You could use that as a way to enter the other lever and go flying. Then hopefully you will have a learning experience and will be able to meditate without the use of drugs to get you to that higher and calmer level.

Good music does the trick for me. Trance music to be specific. Into a fantasy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8bthHFNu-A

Just to give you a taste.

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A female reader, lovebird1 Germany +, writes (1 May 2011):

If meditation doesn't work for you, maybe you've already found some strategies of your own that you aren't using to their full potential yet?

Meditation is about getting calm, and being conscious of the present moment. Not everyone has to sit down silently to experience this. But it sure can be a good way to do so.

If I want to stop thinking and just be aware of the presence, power yoga has worked for me, as well as dance lessons or swimming or running. Qi Gong is great as well. Of course, it's not the same thing as meditation, but it slows down your thinking, makes it less important, it makes you aware of your body, you breathe more easily afterwards and feel less anxious. Well, at least that's my experience.

I need to move and focus on something else to stop the thinking.

To stop worrying, I also use a diary and it helps me a lot. When I write my thoughts down, they stop fussing around in my head, because they have a place of their own, they're safe in my diary and I can relax.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011):

Instead of trying to visualize nothing, visualize something wonderful. When you begin to have the panicked thoughts, consciously switch to seeing something wonderful. The trick is to derail the anxious thought process before it consumes you.

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A female reader, BettyBoup United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2011):

BettyBoup agony auntMeditation takes a lot of practice for it to work. There will be days when you just can't do it, but even giving yourself that half an hour or hour to switch off is beneficial for you, especially if you suffer with a lot of anxiety. I know it can be frustrating if its not working for you after all that you've tried. The thing with meditation is, it's less about trying and more about dedication and practice. the you do it, the easier and more natural it will become. I find guided meditations the best, and ones that are whispered are the most relaxing, or with gentle music behind it. You can find many on youtube. Try a few different ones because with the variety the first few you find might not suit you.

If you are completly fed up with meditation and want to try something else, I strongly recommend yoga and dance. Both actually are a form of meditation as you have to be mindful of your body the whole time. So this leaves no room for anxious thoughts. Yoga is amaing. You know that satisfied feeling you get after a good stretch? After a good yoga session you feel like that, multiplied. Over a period of time, the feeling lasts longer as well. Iyenga yoga is great. It pushes you to your limit, but it's so worth it. It is meant to teach you emotional resilience as well and make you suppler. I did it for 6 months a while back and I have never felt so calm and strong in my body. Wish i'd kept it up really. But I could only afford one class and I stuck to belly dance. As well as being fun, belly dance has many benefits. It tones your core, improves posture, which helps overall wellbeing. It is also a meditation. I always leave feeling happy. It also improves confidence as you are dancing in a room full of strangers. But they are all there for the same reason, to have fun and dance with other women, so once you overcome the fear, you feel really good about yourself.

All of these things take time for you to realise their true benefits though. I know it is frustrating that you have to keep something up that you don't feel is working for a long time before you get any results. But see it as the leg work, or training you have to put in before you can drive, for example. You can't just get in a car after reading a book, and drive like a natural. You have few stalls and scary moments and a lot of practice and hard slog. But a few months down the line you can do it, and a few years down the line, you don't have to think about it, it is natural. That is what these mindful practices are like. It may seem an effort, but it is worth it, if you can feel much more free from distressing thoughts down the line. Nothing is better than the natural euphoria produced from yoga, dance, meditation and exercise in general.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 May 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntYou need to find out what relaxes you. Try meditation. Yoga is a great way to relax your body and put your mind at ease. Everyone has stresses and strains in there life but someone we need to manage these and learn how to deal with them, everyone is different and relaxes in there own different ways. I suggest you try yoga and even a nice warm bath every evening. Light up candles turn of the lights and listen to relaxing music. Simple things like this might just work for you if you havent tried them.

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