A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't even know how to start this I'm soo extremely depressed about my life. I'm not sucidal but at times I wish I could drop off the face of the earth... I have two kids 1 and 7... girl and boy... it's gotten to the point that they even irritate me... I know that is the absolute worst thing to say as a mom but I do love them... at times I feel like dropping them off to their fathers' houses and running away... I've been in a horrible relationship for 5 years and he cheated on me and got another girl pregnant, I tried to forgive but I feel like I can't... I hate him... He picked on my weight just this morning, he told me I look like a ball of play dough... he kept slapping me in the back of the head telling me to stop acting funny with him and I just played it off, he asked if I was about to cry and said boo hoo and I told him no... I got in my car to go to work and cried... he is the father of my 1 year old... my son's father is a jerk as well he's always talking crap, always insulting me as a mother... I hate having anything to do with either of them they disgust me... I try and try to break it off in my current relationship but can't seem to find the words to end things... he's a jerk he treats me worse than poop...
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (21 November 2008):
 I have nothing to add, really, except that this jerk has no right to dish this out, and you don't need to put up with it. I hope you can find a way to tell this ignoramus where to get off.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): All my life I was in abusive relationships! The last on went on for almost 17 years. The more time went by, the worse it got. As I aged it got scarier and scarier to think of myself "old and alone" As Hope4betterdays said, "It's the fear of the unknown that keeps us there" It eventually got to the point that I feard for my life, and knew I had to get away from him! And I did! In the middle of another state hundreds of miles away from "home" I got out of the vehicle with just the clothes on my back and a few things in a duffle bag and a couple of dollars. I had left him many times throughout the years, but I knew this time was different. It was forever! When I finally got back home. The relief I felt was so enormous, I was down right ecstatic. Being without him was great. I didn't have to worry what's going to happen tonight when I get home from work? Am I going to say the slightest thing to set him off? Are more of my "things" going to be broken in a fit of rage? Am I going to have to go in to work with bruises again?
Does any of this hit home? Believe me, although it seems frightening at the time. Leaving will set you free! You will regain your self-respect, rebuild your self-esteem, and have an overwhelming sense of Self!
Your kids will suffer too, if you stay with this jerk! Stop letting yourself play the victim role and Liberate yourself! You may have to have contact with both these guys since they're the fathers of your kids, but you still can separate your life from theirs!
And once you do that...take a look at the patterns in your past relationships and how you always end up with losers. That's what I had to do and I realized I was at fault too. I have always been attracted to "bad-boys" I got what I was looking for, I guess!
And oh yeah...my fear about being old and alone...I now have a wonderful guy in my life who has shown me how a woman is supposed to be treated, and I am happier than I've ever been!
I wish everyone in this situation could learn from my mistakes...and not have to go through their own pain. But unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
I hope I have helped a little. I know what you are feeling and my heart goes out to you! I wish you the courage to make a move! It will be your salvation!
Good Luck and God Bless!
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (21 November 2008):
 You're right about being a target of abuse - tough call since you have to have contact with them. Someone here will have some good advise no doubt. Best to you!
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A
female
reader, hope4betterdays +, writes (21 November 2008):
It sounds as if you are with a complete idiot! But you also have to take some blame yourself your putting up with it. I am not saying this to be mean because I was in the same type of situation I dealt with someone not supporting me and my children for the past 6 years but I stayed there even though I never saw any change ot initive so I allowed this to continue until I cared more about myself and my children. I did and still do love my husband bnut there comes a time in your life you must love yourself and your children more. We stay in these relationships because we are comfortable and know what to expect we are scared of change. Well GIRL it is time you love yourself and get rid of the jerk no one deserves to be treared like that. Its not easy to be a single mom but I am much happier than I was.
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