A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this guy for 2 months we are both married, in the beginning we were having sex 3 times a week, now he works 60 hours per week, spends time off at the Gymn, with me and says he doesn't feel like sex.Every time I say to break up, he says I can't because its not a valid reason for a friend to break up just because we havn't spent time together lately.When we make love I know he feels the connection and he wants to stop it because he doesn't want it to be deeper.I think I scared him by kissing him too much.He is taking steroids at the moment so could it be a sexual problem, what do I do, I told him I would wait, then I said I needed to move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): It sounds like you are expecting too much commitment from this man. It is possible the sexual problem is down to steroid abuse - prolonged use of steroids can eventually cause impotence along with a whole list of serious health complications.
I think it more likely though that you are just more in to him than he is in to you. Perhaps he is closer to his wife than you think he is? and maybe your relationship is no longer something he wants to pursue or sees as a priority?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): I was in your shoes - seeing a married man who worked 80 or 90 hour weeks (no gym though). The reason he went off sex with me was guilt. His wife was pregnant. He found time / energy for her clearly and I'm sure your bloke will be keeping his wife happy to avoid suspicion and because its available. When I found out the truth it made me ill for weeks though I know it was my own fault for messing around with a married guy. I learnt from this horrible experience but I'm just warning you that sometimes there are reasons you might not be expecting so perhaps you should consider breaking it off first before you get hurt any more than you already are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): Or maybe you could try having sex with your husband? You don't mention him at all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): OR MAYBE...He has found someone else to cheat on his wife with! Just because he says you can't break up with him, doesn't mean you can't! He has no right to tell you what you can and can't do. And just because he wants to keep you hanging in there...doesn't mean your the only one. A man who will cheat on his wife, will cheat on you too!
Find yourself a single guy!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): His sexual problems might be linked to feelings of guilt for cheating on his partner.
Think about the words of Immanuel Kant: "Two things fill my mind with ever new and increasing wonder and awe: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me".
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (21 November 2008):
 The only thing that I know about taking steroids is that it causes involuntary erections, which is not the best thing for an artist's model... It caused a stir in my figure drawing class...
Perhaps the problem is that he is cheating on his wife and he feels guilty, as he should, Dear. That's a pretty good reason!
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