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female
,
anonymous
writes: I seem to have a problem attracting the right men. e.g at work there are 4 blokes that have asked me out. One of them is married and one has a fiance and i am not planning to wreck a marriage any time soon. one is a divorced badboy and the other is single but i don't find him attractive although he has a great personality. Beside this i'm not a very confident person and i consider myself to be average looking so i don't know what these guys actually see in me. Also i always flirt with guys until I know they want me and ask me out and then I refuse, I don't know what is wrong with me. Recently I've met a really nice bloke but he's got a kid. But i'm only 21 so I'm not ready to settle down. Why can't I find the right guy for me - what am I doing wrong.
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female
reader, Sabotage32 +, writes (30 June 2006):
Nothing is wrong. The thing is we always look instead of letting them find us. You must be a great person who wreaks of sensuality and confidence or no one would be interested. I am not 21 but, at your age I have gone through the same thing. Turns out men are more scared of rejection than we are. If you ever go out for music, dinner, or drinks wit friends, invite a guy to join you and your friends maybe even bring his friends. Sounds like you just need to get comfortable socially. Once, you get confident with that you will be comfortable in your own skin. I agree to tell yourself everyday you are beautiful. Hang in there girl. You have plenty of time. You are right married men and men with fiancees are off limits or has a girl period. The right one will definitely come along. Don't ever sell yourself short.
A
female
reader, amelia +, writes (30 June 2006):
You are not doing anything wrong - it's natural to want to feel wanted and flirting is a way of checking on your attractiveness to others. The fact that all these men find you attractive means you must be doing something right - so dont lose that! You need to build up your confidence by telling yourself you are beautiful - maybe even stand in front of the mirror at home alone and do this, no one else will know you are insecure if you dont display that you are - so stand proud - the right man will come along when you are least expecting him - GOOD LUCK BABES X .
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (30 June 2006):
 You know, you might just be on to a good thing. It's healthy not to settle for the someone you know is not the 'right' person. It is better to be single than to be with the wrong person (something I wish more people realized younger).
Just take your time. When the right guy does cross your path you'll know, and you'll be glad you've waited for him. Imagine if the right guy was to show up and you were stuck in a relationship with one of the wrong guys... And what is more, the right guy will make it very clear what he sees in you, you won't have to ask yourself that question. You'll know. He'll tell you.
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