A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This may sound weird to some, but for some reason i really can't see how fingering would be pleasurable. I've tried myself a few times, and going too quickly or applying the slightest excession of strength hurts me.anyway I have a feeling my bf is gonna wanna do that very soon, but I'm really afraid, because with him being as unexperienced/ the eager adolescent he is, I think it could hurt like hell.. which makes me nervous cuz i think that would be so embarassing(more so for him) if while he were doing it (thinking he's giving me pleasure) I had to stop him and tell him either that's it's hurting me and I wanna stop, or give him directions on what to do---and he's the kinda shy, timid guy that would definitely be very discouraged after such a situation.is this normal? for fingering to hurt?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): i didnt like my bf fingering me at first cuz it was painful and i had to tell him to stop. but if you relax its a lot less painful and it feels more pleasurable i like it when he does it now cuz it doesnt hurt anymore.
A
female
reader, natalie_19  +, writes (7 July 2008):
like you, i went thru this experience when i was 16 aswell and i didnt find fingering pleasurable at all when i did it myself. but trust me when it comes to someone else doing it it feels so much better. im not too sure why, maybe its the angle but u have no reason to worry, just relaxand i promise you will find it pleasureable..
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): I don't like fingering either I find it painful. Rubbing is a much nicer sensation. Some men seem to be desperate to insert their fingers inside you and how ever many times you push them away or try to explain that they are hurting you they still try to do it. I think they must read text books or something and think this is what women should be liking. Tell him in a gentle friendly way that you really enjoy making love but would like to try other stimulations as you think you could enjoy sex even more if you tried diferent things.. With most men as long as you are still telling them how much you enjoy sex and how good they are they are normally open to trying different ways of pleasuring a woman. Try not to roughly push his hand away or do it with a cross manner as it annoys them and then they will say 'you're not into this' and take a cross approach rather than listening to what you want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): It is normal to have some pain. I dont really like his fingers inside.. but rubbing my clit is a different story. Its not painful and is a good alternative for you. Also it turns a lot of guys on when their woman is tell them what they want them to do to her. If hes not doing something you like, tell him what you want him to do. communication is key in any relationship. hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): I have never found fingering pleasurable either (just with oral sex). I would suggest you talk about this with him before hand. Maybe sometime you are both alone and not having any sexual tension (doing it when he is horny would be a turn off but doing it before he gets horny might help).As if in a casual conversation (as talking about sex should be between a loving, committed couple), ask him something about how he masturbates (watching movies, thinking about something, etc.) now, don't let him get horny, just let him start talking and then you cut in saying how you've found fingering hurtful and not pleasuring to you. I am almost certain you might prefer clit stimulation, so tell him how you do it so it pleasures you. Teaching him how you like to be touched will help your sexuality and your relationship, nothing to be ashamed of.If you decide to take it any further, please use protection. Have fun!
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