A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMy bf of 4 years says saying monogamous in relationship is stupid, he insists that his mind belongs to me and why do i care what his body does when i love his mind and brain more than his body. I know the conversation sounds stupid and whenever i try to say anything he twists my words and make me feel like an idiot. When i told him if he gets to cheat i can cheat too, his response "don't talk to me as if you are my equal, he are below me, all girls are below me and i am superior". He is successful in his career and he is very bright (i am a sucker for smart brainy guys), earns more than me, but always makes me buy stuff for him, never got even one birthday gift from him. I dont understand what i see in him, he has dated a lot of girls and women and he is very cocky and 0% emotional. He is never around when i need him, i can never rely on him and lost bunch of my hard earned money on him. Please help me to come out of this.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2015): Hi.
I could say all that others have identified so well....but you know this already from your message.
what I would like to know is why have you stayed? What are you getting out of this? Do you think you deserve no better? What's the story here? You are identifying really well why you shouldn't be with him....yet you still are.
You need to address this - so what keeps you with him in all honesty?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2015): He might be smart (as in IQ), but his emotional intelligence (EI) seems to be lacking...
None of us can take you out by the hand and drag you away from this guy. You have to find the strength to do so yourself.
Where do you find strength? You answer the question:"How many lives do I have to live? How many chances will I get to correct my mistakes?How much time do I have left? The time I have,do I really,really wanna spend it with him?"
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 August 2015):
 What a piece of work!
I get that you like smart men, but this guy? Isn't THAT smart, he doesn't seem to comprehend basic decency and equality. I think he feels superior to you BECAUSE you are STILL with him even after he said SHIT like that.
If my husband had ever uttered words like that I would have not only LAUGHED my tail off, I would have walked away with a head ache from all the eye-rolling and shaking of my head.
Dude like that GET OFF on thinking they ARE superior, when in fact... HE is not. He has no emotions, ins't REALLY capable of relationship (probably why he has had a LOT of GF's) he is basically... DAMAGED goods. And he knows it. He knows that money and status doesn't make a GOOD women stay long term. She wants more than he is capable of giving.
You have wasted 4 years with this man... why WASTE your life like that? Can you see him be a good role-model for kids? Or even a decent husband?
He sounds utterly lacking.
And you... I don't know what to say. 4 years? Why do you DO that to yourself?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 August 2015):
 What you see is a narcissistic guy who uses people as pawns. Monogamy doesn't work for him anymore because he needs narcissistic supply from new women. You can only impress a person for so long, before you need new people to get awed by the novelty. He sucked you dry and realizes that you are getting resentful always having to pay for him.
You were attracted to him because he appeared to be some alpha asshole. Leaving him is easy when he's always been mean. Even a modest Ana Steele can say no to Christian Grey, and it didn't take very long for her to see he's just a beautiful shell covering a vacuum like soul.
You can still find a brainiac as a partner, just make sure he does not have a messed up childhood marred by his mom or other women close to him.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (2 August 2015):
 Oh honey! You've answered your own question! Why be with a guy like this? He is mean, not nice to you and is never around when you need him. MOVE ON!
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