A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello All,I am in a new relationship and when my boyfriend and I are together we have sex on average of 3-4 times a day. I am really turned on by him even when he does something as small as rub my back and sex feels really amazing BUT, I can never finish. I never even get close to orgasm. He tries so hard and we have tried every position but nothing works and then I am forced to fake it to spare his feelings.We have had sex about 10 times now and no difference. I need help. What should I do? Does anyone else have this problem?Thanks!P.S. I was a virgin before I met him. He is the only person I have ever been sexually active with so I have nothing to compare our relationship to.
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female
reader, CaptainReynolds  +, writes (15 March 2010):
It takes about 20 mins of stimulation for a woman to reach orgasm, and if you are feeling at all worried, or stressed or unsure then it will affect your ability to get there. You need to learn what pleases you by yourself and show him how to get you there. Don't fake it, never fake it. You shouldn't have to pretend to come to please him. Explain to him that the female orgasm is more elusive than his and that just because you don't orgasm, doesn't mean that you are not enjoying sex. It takes quite a lot of trust for a woman to be able to relax and let go completely. I would just enjoy yourself, enjoy the sensations and don't focus on your orgasm, or lack of it, because that it a sure fire way for it to not happen at all. There should be no pressure from him, or from yourself. More foreplay, more self-love and relax about it. It'll happen. All the best
A
female
reader, pandabird +, writes (15 March 2010):
 I agree with the others... masturbate! I don't know if you've ever had an orgasm before? But if you have, then you can show him how to touch you... A vibrating cock-ring might be a good investment too, makes it much easier to orgasm.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): You need some variety & more sexual experinces in your life. However, make sure you use protection. Another thing you can do is please yourself...Masturbate!
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (15 March 2010):
 The female orgasm has a lot to do with state of mind. Don't focus solely on coming, just enjoy the feeling and your partner and it will happen.
Have you ever given yourself an orgasm? If you don't know how to get yourself off, you won't be able to show him how to do it either.
Don't fake it. Why? Because now he gets the impression that he is pleasing you and this will continue, and you may be unsatisfied for a long time.
Does he spend much time on foreplay? Tell him that you can't orgasm from vaginal sex, and that maybe he should focus on making you come before he penetrates you.
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