A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey everyone. Ok I have a question..lol. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months now. And still havent opened up to him.. We have kinda talked about this and I have tryed to explain to him that it's not easy for me to open up.. I have a wall up I guess I can call it, And have had it for as long as I can remember, It's not that I don't want to open up to him because I do, It's that I can't.. Everytime I try to nothing comes out.. SO I was wondering if any of you's have the same problem and if you know how I could explain it to him so that he will understand what I'm talking about when I tell him.. And it's not only him that I cant open up to, I have lots of friends that I have known for years and still haven't been able to open up to them.. Any ideas on how I can explain to him what it's like having a Wall up.. Thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Paladin  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 Your young and so is the relationship. I don't know what exactly he wants to know or what you think your holding back but it really doesn't matter. When and if you truly fall in love with person and truly trust him you will share what you feel like sharing. If you have some deep dark secrets you be wise in keeping them hidden. Only you can decide that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): Everyone needs healthy boundaries...think of it as having a wall around you but with doors, that you can choose to open up when you feel the need to or when you trust someone enough.....Someone with an unpentetrable wall usually has a hard time making friends at all, you don't sound like this person or you probably would not have a bofriend. Are you sure you feel that you are holding back unecessarily, or is your boyfriend just pressuring for something more than you care to give. I would not put so much pressure on yourself to be open, you are right to protect yourself from emotional hurt, and when you feel the relationship has progressed to one where you know him well enough to open up, you will....until then I don't think you need to explain yourself to him, everyone is different and if nothing comes out, then you have nothing you feel the need to say to him at that moment. Try not to worry so much and just enjoy your relationship, no need especially at your age to become deeply emotional with your boyfriend....you have a lot of growing to do, and you are under construction so to speak, you have much to learn and to develop in yourself and if you are not ready to be a completely open book to him then in my opinion that is your right.....
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