A
female
age
30-35,
*oGreen126
writes:I've been with my bf cumulatively about 8 months while we've been on and off for about a year and a half. My feelings for him are definitely growing and now they are to the point that I do love him. The problem is, I can't tell if it's in a romantic way that I love him. My ex was my best friend for a long time before we got together. We were only in a relationship for about 4.5 months before he dumped me (for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to: he didn't have time for me, we had different ideas of what love is [I thought it was a much bigger deal that he did], and unparallel feelings toward each other). I know I'm young and naiive, but I loved him more than I can fathom.I'm broken after what happened between my ex and myself. My bf is working to pick ip the pieces of me and put me back together. I've most definitely fallen for him, but the feelings leave me confused. I don't want to compare them, but I can't help but notice that they way they make me feel is entirely different. My ex and I are back to being best friends. When I look at him or think about him though, I work hard to suppress the amazing feelings I get, even now.Are the differences in feelings because my ex was my first love? We broke up more than 8 months ago. I know I should be moving on, and I think I have, but whenever I try to let completely it makes matters infinitely worse. My bf is amazingly supportive with all this. He knows everything about me and my ex that I've written here. Why does it feel wrong with him?Thanks so much--GG
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, GoGreen126 +, writes (21 January 2010):
GoGreen126 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much!
--GG
A
female
reader, GoGreen126 +, writes (20 January 2010):
GoGreen126 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for your insight.
Thethingsthatyoutellyourself, I really appreciate your detailed answer, no worries about the length. I asked for help and you gave it!
I know I need to push him away, you affirmed that for me, but I'm scared. Really scared. Not really for the reasons you'd expect, I guess: I go to him to talk to because he's basically my other half (even though I'm a whole entity, I don't need him to be complete, etc), but that's just a minor detail. I love his family immensely. His parents are the only model of a functional relationship I really have. I'm close with his brothers even though they're 2 and 4 years younger than me.
He and I balance each other out. He makes me happy, and I've been on the border of depression recently.
In past years, I've had some serious betrayels by friends, so I'm scared of making new ones. This ex is really my best friend, and without him I'm scared I'll fall into some nature of abyss. I'm very blessed in everything I have--I don't want to seem ungrateful.
That's a long winded way of asking "how?" because I'm scared.
I did the rebound dating thing, and I think I have real feelings for this guy, is it possible to have feeligs for them both?
Thank so so so so much
--GG
...............................
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 You're still in love with your ex
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 Sounds like you are more attracted to your ex than your now boyfriend. You are with your boyfriend more because he is supportive than you are really crazy about him. There is still a desire that you want to get back with your ex. It would be unfair for your boyfriend if you are using him to forget your ex. Chemistry is very important in a relationship. I know guys who break off relationships just because chemistry isn't there. Guys always fall for girls who aren't into them at first because it gives them a challenge to win their hearts. Let's see if your new guy has the amazing qualities to win you over. Otherwise he would just be a supportive "friend."
...............................
|
