A
female
age
30-35,
*arakatastrophe
writes:*OP's own title*my ex dumped me 5 months ago and i still love him as much as i did then.hes had 2 new girlfriends in the period of time we've been apart.he said we would be together forever and he would love me til we died.but he told my best friend he lied.and when he dumped me we were both crying and i know he loved me i still love him so much. Not even a day goes by that i dont cry or think about him..he txted me a few days ago and sad he still loved me but i know hes lying but i cant bring myself to moving on!!help me.
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 Listen. I seriously JUST recently broke up with my first love and first partner, and we were together for two years. I love him still, and I think I can honestly say that I will never ever forget him. But let me tell you, it is possible to move on. What you have to do in order to move on is a little difficult though.
Stop being in contact with this guy. Period. Get rid of all photos, block his number from your phone if you can, block him on your facebook/myspace sites, and get rid of all messages he's ever sent you. If you have to, even go as far as getting rid of the things he gave you. I'm telling you, it's better to sever all the connections rather than still keep in contact and to still be able to see what he's doing. It will drive you insane, and it will serve as an anchor to your recovery.
You need to keep your mind busy. Bury yourself in school work, or find a new goal to focus on. Hang out with your FRIENDS. Get support from your family. It truly is so difficult to get through this, and it's hard to see the bad things or the bad ways he treated you. You just keep thinking about the good times and the promises he made. And you know what? The promises he did make at the time he probably really believed and meant, so don't feel like a fool for believing him. This relationship was not a waste of your life or time, but a learning lesson. When he said you two would be together forever, he probably thought that way at that time. But things change. That's life.
And some people will suggest finding a new guy interest, but don't. I know from what I'm going through right now, no other man even seems reasonably attractive. I don't want any other guy. I just need to be single for a while, and the feeling will last a while before I ever can date someone again. That's just recovering, and it's natural. So take up that time with friends and family. Do things that you can now do because you're single. Enjoy your life and build up yourself again before considering taking on another relationship. The first crucial step however is cleansing your life of him, including pictures AND blocking him from the phone. You can move on, you just have to give yourself the chance. :) Best of luck from a gal who is going through the same thing right now.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 Be patient with yourself . Give yourself time to elaborate your loss. Do you know that, statistically, the time for mourning a major loss (like a death of someone close )is at least two years ? And the loss of a real love is a bit like a death.
I am not saying that you must stay at home and cry your eyes out for the next two years. In fact, it would help if you'd try concentrating on anything that has given you pleasure and comfort in your life- music, sports, reading, adopting a pet, cooking, anything at all.
Just,in the meantime, accept that what you feel is normal, and necessary as part of your process of recovery and healing.
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A
female
reader, cherelle +, writes (4 April 2010):
oh sweetheart, this guy is completly messing with your feelings.. He wants the best of both worlds... You need to forget about him (i know its easier said than done) but you need to stop all contact with this guy and if he texts ...as hard as it is...delete the message straight away cause the only thing you will do is go over and over and over the things hes says and over anaylaze things when to be honest he probably didnt mean anything at all!... I do it all the time!
I know that feeling of longing for them and feeling sick of even the thought of another guy but you seriously need to consider going on dates and getting to know someone new because thats the only way u will get over him!....you need distraction... This guy is honestly just messing with you, he likes knowing you want him...becuase it makes him feel wanted...which is an extremelt selfish trate and du seriously want to be with someone who cares more about thier feelings than yours?... I know i wouldnt. If you ever need to talk, send me a message... Sometimes its easier to speak to an outsider...x
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