A
female
age
36-40,
*ustbeingme
writes:My partner and i have been together for three years we love each other very much and have a beautiful son who is two.Im not happy anymore though and i want to leave, he doesnt have any faith in me and never has. he has always told me how he thinks im going to leave him and how one day hes worried he'll come home and ill be gone. this has been hard to handle because i have given him SO MUCH reassurance from day one! Ive been there 100% and nothing i can do will change this.He told me he thought i was going to get my career up and going and then just leave him and my son. Which is mroe insulting than anything considering how much i love them.in actual fact it should be me who doesnt have faith or trust in him after everything that has happened. i dont want to break his heart and i dont want to disrupt my sons life, but IM NOT HAPPY :(i cant marry someone who doesnt trust or have faith in me. I dont know how to approach him about this .any ideaa? i dont know how to work it properly and i dont know how to tell him i love him but i cant be here anymore.i think its ironic that he was afraid of this all along...and thats what is pushing me to leave!So confusing. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, justbeingme +, writes (12 April 2010):
justbeingme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow great reply thanks heaps.
This makes me realise I'm probably not being over dramatic about it then because it is a really important issue!
ive given him this ultimatum before and nothing changed which is why im now at the point of leaving.
The hard part is bringing it up, he knows something isnt right, but we are usually pretty happy. He has been trying really hard to please me lately (not hard to do either as I'm pretty easy going). Maybe because he knows something is up.
With all the good times aside, at the end of the day i'll forever feel trapped in this relationship if i dont get out...just dont know how to bring it up, i think im so scared of hurting him...
Anyway, it's nice to get some feedback everyone thinks we are a happy perfect family so i dont have anyone to talk to really! thankyou :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): If some guy said that to me I would think it was either because he thought he wasn't good enough to keep me OR he just didn't believe in what I say & has no faith in me- like me telling him I love him & want to spend my life with him was a bunch of bull. I don't blame him really. You do want to leave him & you sound like you've been thinking about for at least a little while. He knows thats already, he can probably sense it. Even if you're now using his skeptisism as the excuse to do it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 April 2010):
I think you have to force this issues a bit more. This guy clearly has major esteem issues, and as you have found, him acting the way he has ironically has driven you to this point. I think you have to say to him that unless he trusts you and gets help from a counsellor, you'll have to leave because you believe you can't live in a relationship with no trust. You can't spend the rest of your life listening to him talking about you leaving all the time. It's not fair. You have proved you are loyal and trustworthy, and it's time he recognized that. If he does not seek any help to change his ways, then he's the one who is not committed enough and you can do better. Give him the ultimatum.
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