A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Going to keep this as short as possible..I am a girl that's16 years old and am in a relationship with a 20 year old male. As I am living with my parents, and knew they would be against this we've been in a secret relationship for 10 months. When we had been together for around 8 months my Mum found out about us and asked us to be friends. Luckily it turned out okay, and she didn't tell my dad, and allowed me to still see him as long as we were only friends. Since that time my Mum still thinks we're friends but we're still in a secret relationship. I am sooo close to my family and I hate doing this to them but I'm SOO in love with him!I understand why they think it's wrong but I can't end it no matter how many times I try because I believe he is the one for me! I understand I'm only 16 so people think it's not real love but I believe it is! I don't know what to do!? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): let your mum trust you. do it together, you and your boyfriend talk to your parents, tell them that you are really in love with each other, this shows that you are trying to be responsible and value their opinion about who your having a relationship with.
My parents hate my current bf and i think that it has something to do with the fact that i never told them that i was in a relationship with an older guy as i am too was 16 when we started going out but my bf was 23. they have kind of accepted the fact that we r together but don't really like it.
Sooo don't follow in my footsteps try and be upfront and honest it shows maturity and try and include your mum in your relationship problems she will value the gossip!!
i hoped this helps good luck! x
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (1 March 2011):
Let's put this straight: your Mom's problem is she thinks you two are going to have sex. And probably, she thinks he's going to abuse his age and try to fool you into it. All this is reasonable because she's your Mom. And she must be afraid you end up having an STD or being pregnant after this.In the first place I'm sure that nothing is going to stop you from having sex if you are meant to do it. So, you have to accept that having sex implies you have to be responsible and take care of your self. So he have to wear a condom. No questions.Maybe you are completely sure that you are not going to lose your virginity yet. Or maybe you have lost it already. The best thing you can do is talk to your Mom and let her know whatever is your situation. If you trust in her, she will more likely trust in you.
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A
female
reader, michelleloveeee  +, writes (1 March 2011):
i am letting you know i am a 17 year old in college and age does not matter to anyone. age is simply a number and you guys are really only 4 years apart.... my parents are 8 years part and they love one another. i see no shame in this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): I imagine 'Inutashy' is about your age. I am 30 something and do not have children, so let me be the big sister for a moment. Neither of you that means 'Inutashy' as well should dis-respect your parents and sneak around and lie to them, if you have good parents and it is pretty clear they are trying to look out for you. I wish I had good parents you are very lucky girls to grow up with this guidance.
Secondly, yes you are too young to be having sex and it can wait. This may sound way harsh to you right now, but go and talk to your Mum and do not make her lose trust in you by keeping secrets when you are this age. Do as the other Mother on this forum says and yes even show your Mum these comments.
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A
female
reader, Inutashy +, writes (28 February 2011):
 My friend is 17 and is with a 20 year old, personally I've no age problems once both parties are at least mid/ late teens. One thing is to explain to your mom, if you can maybe sit with her alone and explain how you feel. Keep sex out of it(as in don't have sex with him until at least after 18 since it's illegal) and tell your mom that you won't let him pressure you. Make compromises, maybe only hang with him in rather public places so she trusts you (movies, mall, home, ect) I hope this helps, good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): Hi my dear, it sounds like you have a good Mum. Try and trust that she knows best for you and do what she says.
It is true that at 16 your brain and other areas have not quite fully formed and that it is difficult to make good decisions in many areas of life. You are stilling growing!
I think that if he is a good person he will respect your decision and your mothers to be only friends. Really he has no business doing anything else with a 16 year old.
I think you need to go to your Mum and ask her for help, because it sounds like you can trust her. Do take her advice even if it is hard to hear.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): If you believe it is really really true love then guess what? He will still be there waiting for you when you turn the age of consent. If he really really believes its true love then he wont want to do anything that could hurt you or those you love.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 February 2011):
 Does your relationship include sexual activity?
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101 +, writes (28 February 2011):
 You're at the age where you gotta make mistakes to get better in life. I'm not saying this is a mistake. If you like/love him and he feels the same. Have some fun. Follow your heart. But be honest with your family. You know in yourself what is right or wrong. You wouldn't be with him if he treated you bad so he is probably a nice guy. You need to introduce him to ur parents so that they see what you see in him. There isn't a huge age gap and it is legal so I don't see what the problem is... I hope this helps =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): Gurl, if myy daughter wouldve done that to me, I wouldve been so damn mad! I mean as a parent we only try in our best intrest to do what's right for our kids. But on the other note its your relationship and she should try too understand that you are 'in love' and as you are growing up you need to learn from your own mistakes. She's probably been down this path before, or seen it happen and doesn't want you to get hur; because we all know in a relationship both people are effected badly in some way no matter how they show it. So she's just trying to do what she feels is right, and no matter how much you don't like it; she (and I) knows its only for the best :) now go talk it out and share with your mama everything both yall have to say, even show her this comment ... And remember ; God don't like liers !
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