A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I am 19 years old and I need some help and good advice about love, temptation and sex. I am so confused now about my feelings and desires. My parents are religious, however I am not but I really respect and abide the values and morals a lot. I am afraid to tell them about my dilemma because my parents have never wanted me to get a girlfriend until I am older. Only recently, they starting to accept and like her.So, I am having a wonderful relationship with my sweetheart for second year; She is always cute and cheerful girlfriend. Because this is our first relationship for both of us. We started off really slowly and steadily, knowing each other for about 1 year before I put on guts and confess to her. She also has very protective parents, and we promised that we are going to have just platonic relationship (Nothing more than kissing).We went out last Saturday evening to catch a movie and had our dinner. Then we went to the beach to have ice-cream and had a nice stroll. We walked and sat at rock walls and we chit chatted. Everything was smooth until she lean on my shoulder. So, we start to do intimate stuff like kissing and hugging. When I was hugging and kissing her, I touched her butt firmly for the first time. I don't know how she feels but she was like shocked, without thinking I apologized and she smiled said it's alright. Strangely, she was teasing me when we are on the bus home and whispered saying like 'you like my butt?'. I felt really bad.Not just by this but also with some other inappropriate actions. From the lightest inappropriateness like being sexually aroused; I remembered that I was very horny last Saturday because she was like wearing this opaque white shirt and 3/4 tight jeans. The embarrassing part is she caught me staring at her chest and butt, which I admit I did. And what's worse is I even fantasized and masturbated about her. I feel like the worst jerk ever. But she is very tempting to me, I cannot control myself to stop thinking about having sex with her. If she ready for sex, honestly I will not hold back. But i know this isn't the right thing to do, what should i do? I never felt so strongly tempted before for the last 2 years, now I feel bad talking to her and my imagination will just starts to run wild. Please help me!Thanks!
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male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (14 June 2011):
'Religious' laws of this nature were put in place by jealous old people who are no longer capable of having fun. No other reason. And I speak as a rational 55 year old, not a hormonal adolescent. After two years it's really time for the pair of you to to start enjoying one another. She's indicated in a woman's way (and rarely are they direct, in any culture- they hint and we're supposed to know exactly waht they mean) that a nicely orchestrated pass at her- as long as it's NOT a pounce- might be welcomed. As for being religious- don't you think that God, if he exists, has more important things to concern himself with, such as war, famine, poverty, tidal waves, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, man's inhumanity to man and all the other things he seems to ignore completely, to worry about some guy sleeping with a willing girlfriend?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2011): It's really really normal to be aroused by your girlfriend! And from what your saying, i think she's flattered that you think she's pretty and you're tempted by her body. Where i come from (netherlands) there are very few religious people, and waiting two years before sleeping with your girlfriend almost never happens. There's really no need to feel bad about this, just try and talk to her honestly and openly.. I bet she's more open to it than you think. Good luck!
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