A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi - I have been married for 4 years known my husband for 10. We have never had an easy relationship. About 8 years ago I started chatting to an old uni friend we had always fancied eachother but had partners at the time so never took it further. We started chatting all the time n over a good six months realised that we were falling for eachother. As soon as we realised this we stopped talking as there was no way we could be together as we were different religions and our parents would never accept it. So we parted ways but we missed eacother to much n kept getting back in touch - our problem isn't that we don't love eachother it was that we didnt want to hurt our parents. Things got complicated he had an arranged marriage n we stopped talking, I got married and we both tried to move on, he has a daughter I do to. After my wedding for a good year there was no contact but in sept 2010 we started emailing again. It's never physical just emotional. I have tried to walk away but can't help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2011): It is easy to establish and maintain a seemingly "ideal relationship" by email.It is to your credit that neither of you have taken things further when you are married to other people. You say it's in order not to hurt your families. You also refer to his having had an arranged marriage. You are both obviously responsible and thoughtful people. You don't want to hurt anyone else, but what about the hurt you're causing yourselves?If neither of you can see a way of being together that would satisfy your own high moral standards, then perhaps the kindest thing for both of you would be to break off this email contact?So long as you are in touch you will always be in the grip of this torment. This will only serve to make you even more discontent and unhappy in your current relationships.There are no easy answers here, but you obviously both know that already. Only you can decide if the price of you both being together would be worth it.Please don't overlook that the two of you have never actually had a relationship with one another before, there is much you don't know about one another.I hope you find peace.
A
female
reader, frndz4life  +, writes (10 March 2011):
hii, i think that you should restrict urself from being in any kind of contact with him. whatever you both had feelings it was ur call to get away so that ur parents dont get hurt. so same way this time u have to take care that ur husband doesnt get hurt. u married him its ur resbonsibility to be loyal to him, and love him. in ur past u had a chance u might as well tried to discuss with ur parents u would have got a way
now u have got on to a path n u cant and u shouldnt change ur way back. it would lead u nowhere.just think about your husband who would suffer without any fault. once u have commited u should follow ur commitment.
as u guys had controlled urself way back its time to do that again and this time forever and in case u arent happy with our marriage then u need to sort out things with ur husband as well but dont cheat on him. its a very bad thing to do
gud luck n tak cre
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