A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What does it mean when a guy says I cant have a relationship with you right now, because I have trust issues and everything Ive been through? He says that doesn't mean a year down the road that he wouldn't want a relationship with me, because he may. Hes going through a nasty divorce right now. We spend one night a week together at this home.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (25 October 2009):
It means exactly what he said. And like others have said, if you're willing to be his bootycall or FWB, then that's fine by him, but he doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with you. Depending on how he feels, he may or may not want a relationship with you within a year (or maybe 2 or 3). He or you can't put a time limit as to when he will be ready, but I think you should try to decide if you want to wait around for a guy where a relationship may or may not happen.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): He needs time to heal emotionally from his divorce, plus he isn't even divorced yet. Really bad timing to expect to have a relationship with this guy. He is just looking for sex and to assauge his wounded ego.
If you have any hopes of a realtionship with him, I would only be his friend, not a sex partner or a girlfriend or a date. Then in time, if he is ready, he may be interested in something else. The likelihood of this working out as a romance right now is about 0%.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): I personally think that if a guy says something like that, or says he doesn't want a commitment, or goes on about his freedom or whatever it simply means he's just not that into you. If he was he'd want to be with you. He doesn't want a commitment with you because he thinks he can do better. But he doesn't want to chuck you completely because you're the best that's on offer at the moment.
Whether that's the case or not (and I certainly could be wrong) why would you waste your time? Is he the only hot man in your town or something?
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (25 October 2009):
 It means he is not interested in committing to you, but he'll have sex with you if you're offering. If you're willing to hang around accepting these crumbs, that's all you're going to get. Honestly you will probably not get more down the road, as rebound relationships generally do not work out.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 October 2009):
 I guess he doesn't want to put in the energy of having a full relationship. He's probably exhausted by the strain of a split. He's tender and aching and just wants to chill out. Don't get too invested in him just yet. And don't take it personally. Relationships depend so much on timing and his is bad right now.
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