A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am having a bit of a time with my fiancee he says he loves me and wants me to still live in the house with him than he sits there and says i need to get a different job and get the f out of his house and that i don't do what he says and that the house is not cleaned up at all and he says he wants a baby with me than all of a sudden says we are not having a baby at all what i want to know is why is he sitting here doing this when he knows i love him and i do everything that he tells me too do and he knows that this crap is killing me inside and outside
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): The guy is abusive and my guess is he doesn't really want to marry you and he is taking the cowards way out and literally trying to push you away and drive you away from him so he can point the finger at your when you finally throw in the towel....he gets off scott free.
Don't fall for this game. Call his bluff and break off the engagement now. Keep the ring, it was a gift after all, that ought to set his hair on fire.
Change your phone number, move out, get a new job if you want one and kind find one, and delete all his contact information so you won't be tempted to call this loser again.
I know you love him, but if he is this abusive now, this flakey and uncommitted now, how do you think you can actually build a life with this nut case? You can't.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (25 October 2009):
 He's an idiot and he's yanking your chain to see what crap you will put up with. It sounds like he gets a thrill out of playing games with your head and making you run in three different directions; that is control, not love.
I doubt he is going to change, and I think it would be good for you to sit down and assess if this is what you really want out of life. Is this really what you want in your married life? He won't get better after the I dos!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): Call it off, I would say.
No guy is worth it if they treat you like crap, even when he's nice and sweet that you love it. Because chances are, he's not going to change. He might even get worse.
If he loved you as much as you love him, and he knows it's making you feel like crap, then he wouldn't do it.
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