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male
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anonymous
writes: a couple of days ago my girlfriend told me she doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore .... now this is not the first time she's done this, any "discussion" we have had invlolved her being wrong generally ended up with her saying, "ok we're finished". this used to happen if she couldnt think of anything to say, i've told her lots of times that i can't take it anymore, but i love her so much i just forgive. she keeps it all in despite my efforts to try and generate some constructive critisism. she kissed some other guy on a number of occasions which tells me she isnt happy. so i go round to her flat to picj some stuff up (i'm staying with someone else) and she tells me that she's confused and that a break will do us good. I personally have been down that road before and ended up an emotional mess having hoped we'd get back together, so i don't/can't go through that again, and i hate to be so black/white but i just can't risk it ... i feel terrible ..... what should i do ? i feel like the she's making me into the one who's doing the breaking up by refusing to just have a break ...
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (6 April 2006):
 Hi there, i was in the same situation once. my ex-boyfriend would constantly want a break anytime we argue. later he comes back and says he is sorry. i kept on doing that until finally i said it is enough no more going back. you have to draw the line at some point.
I know u do love her, but the relationship you are in right now isnt healthy. You are not in total control here and she is using your relatiosnhip as a bargaining chip to do what she wants.Only you can decide what to do but i would advise u to move on with your life. Get someone who is totally committed to you.
All the best dear.
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