A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure whether or not this is allowed to go on here, but this is my story.I have been married for five months to the guy of my dreams, we met at Uni and had been going out for six years before our wedding in April. All our friends think we are "made for one another".The thing is, though, I have been diagnosed as infertile, and I have been for five years. We'd been trying for a baby before our wedding, but now we've decided to accept that we'll never have kids. However, I know that he still wants kids, even when he says he doesn't, and if I was able to give them to him, I would without a second thought. But I can't. I want him to be a daddy, to hold a baby of his own in his arms, he deserves to be a father, and the fact that I can't do the most natural of things; carry a baby, makes me think....should I tell him to leave me for a fertile woman? I know he never would because he loves me for me, but I love him more than that, I want him to have everything. But he won't have everything with me. He's been my rock, he's held me when I've cried over my pregnant friends and family, helped me through my bad days, and let me know how special I am. I want him to have everything good in life, but I know I can't give him everything that is good. I can't give him a baby. Help me please?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): My neighbors have 4 wonderful adopted children.
I have a friend who is 82 and had 4 wonderful adopted children, who are my age.
I have two adopted uncles.
If you want children, adopt when you are ready, and talk it over with him. Make sure he wants children. The process can be difficult but when you hold that child in your arms, they are "yours", whether they came out of you or not.
It sounds like you want children, yourself, so have children...one way or another.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Wow I had to keep from bawling and crying over your post. I don't know what it's like to be infertile, but I know the anguish, frustration, and depression of trying to conceive. It's supposed to be the happiest time in your life, right? Wrong, it's a nightmare. Can't understand for the life of me why God would bless a 13 year old who's boyfriend left her with a child when there's women like you, and I(even though I can't measure up to you in any way) who are wanting and waiting? Don't understand it, I better stop before I get struck by lighting. Don't leave your husband, I would go with adoption like the others specified... However I will pray for you, that maybe God will change his mind and bless you with a child.
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A
female
reader, Shelbyy-x +, writes (10 September 2010):
 why dont you just adopt? or find a woman who will carry his baby so that it could be his own blood?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): My wife was infertile and we couldn't have children either so I told her I didn't want any and that was fine, and it was. Just so happens that we were able to have children after all, and now I have two kids; I am fine with this as well. I love my wife and whatever life I am able to have with her is the one I desire. My guess is your guy is the same. Don't try to guess what's best for him. He is an adult and if he isn't going to be happy with the way things are going to be let him tell you straight up. Guessing that what you have to offer isn't going to make him happy complicates the relationship and does burden him unnecessarily. Just enjoy what you've got and who knows, one day you may be surprised to find out you guys are going to be parents.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 I know this is a really sensitive topic and I don't wanna raise false hopes. But, I know that they're always making new medical and scientific discoveries... what if they come out with a new fertility treatment that could help you in a few years?
I don't know if that would happen but imagine how bad you would feel if you were to leave your husband and then later they discovered a way to reverse your infertility.
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A
male
reader, RIKI93dw +, writes (10 September 2010):
I think you should tell him as he should know but as you know he won't leave because he loves you for you so don't tell him to leave you and don't even hold on to this an option you should just talk to him about it and possibly when your both ready to consider all possible options such as adoption or maybe Surrogacy a woman who is willing to carry a baby for you and your husband, and he could donate sperm but I don't know much about it I just know of it but please check it out, it could help you. There are a few other ideas but of which I am not aware of I just suggested the two of which that are probably nest to proceed with. You two have been trying so hard for child and what you two already have sounds amazing I know this may sound odd but you could think of this as another hurdle in life please I ask that you don't fall at this one
I hope this can help tou
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 September 2010):
 What about adoption?
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (10 September 2010):
I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
I know that you want your husband to be happy and you want the best for him, but he loves YOU. If he were with another woman, and he didn't love her, something would be missing in his life.
You say that he won't have everything if he stays with you, but if he were to leave... then he wouldn't have you. He still wouldn't have everything. It seems that he was aware of your problem before you married, and he wants you for who you are.
I think you ARE made for one another. You're willing to sacrifice the thing you love most in this world to make your husband happy (even though he wouldn't be happy with someone else) and he accepts you as you are. If you did leave him you would regret it... you're not gonna find a guy like him very often.
I hope my answer helps.
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