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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hello dear uncles and aunts ....its a bit lengthy stuff but please bear with me ...i have foolishly messed up my life ....im 21 and my girlfriend is 18...i kinda have a strange problem....before i come to it i would like to tel u that my girlfriend is very sweet and caring. she loves me like hell and is very possessive towards me and im really lucky to have her. i really enjoy being with her as she's a real sweetheart and very generous! im her life!! its been a year to our relationship and we have seen many ups and downs, broke up once and got back together. this has really deep rooted our emotions and strengthened our relationship.. we cant live without each other's presence in life!now the shocking news is that i have never really loved her that way!! i know its foolish but it went on and on before me realising that its too late and she has been dreaming a lot about our relationship....im really feeling sorry for that poor thing but its the question of my life friends and i cant sacrifice it for someone...also i cant hurt someone who loves me so much ...i have so such strong heart and m extremely deep thinking and emotional guy!!! i am in a fix!!i know i should have told her about this long long back but i accept my mistake and im really feeling guilty for it.i need a chance!! she is so deeply attached to me that she becomes restless even if we dont talk for 2 hours...the situation has become so severe that i wonder how will i be ablt to tell her that that she is not the one i was looking for! but i know i will have to :(i really care for her a lot and i am afraid if she will become crazy or threatening . its really heart wrenching for me too .. i will not leave her but support her and help her move on! she has started observing that i am not equally excited about this relationship and its true! she wonders a lot but never tells me anything..this really wrenches my heart and i cry from inside! obviously i cant give her what the poor girl expects as i dont feel that way!its already very late friends and things have become really risky ...i tried to resist her but this makes her wonder why am i doing so and she becomes upset ...so do i!! i dont want her to find herself in 'get him or die' situation! please suggest the right and a slow approach friends..not for me...atleast for the girl's sake! i will have to be cruel to be kind! i really love her as a friend and dont want to lose such a sweetheart! how to ease the addiction without hurting her so that she should get the message without me telling her ? thanks for the time ........do reply as many as possible friends...i am badly depressed and think the whole day about this!
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male
reader, CrazyMind  +, writes (27 March 2009):
 I agree with the two posts below.
I've not got much to say, except you need to just get it over and done with.
One thing I shall say, though, is this:
You've put "i will not leave her but support her and help her move on!" BAD move. Saying you'll stick around will only confuse and twist emotions, and could mean that her 'healing' takes longer. Give her the option of you still being around or not. And, if you are around, don't be around too much - she needs to depend on you less, and realise that you're not always going to be there.
- Crazy
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 March 2009):
Do you think you are really the first person to realise they want to split up with their other half?
This happens everyday. It's not nice, but it's life.
If you don't love her then set her free so she can find someone who does. Do you really think you are the best she can do?
Stop faffing about and get it over with. Yes it will be horrible, but you just need to tell her gently but firmly that you have fallen out of love with her and think it's time to end this.
Don't tell her you were only with her for a year out of pity or that you have been lying.
Just tell her that you don't want to be with her anymore and it's not her fault but she deserves better than what you can give her.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (27 March 2009):
 I know your intentions are good, when you have tape on your mouth, do you prefer to remove it slowly or fast?
If you remove it slowly, it hurts for a longer period of time than if you remove it fast.
If you don't love her and don't break up, you're wasting her time at finding someone else and getting over you. If you don't love her and try to make her emotions go away, it seems more painful, to me anyways, than a immediate break up.
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