| A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Why workaholics always find an exuse to work?My husband works 14 hours a day 7 dasys a week. No vacations, no weekends, no any other activities. He won't do anything around the house. he just goes to work. He works at home from his office, but he is never coming out for there.He has been doing this 10 years ago or more. His dad was very similar ,but no he did not find anything wrong with that. Just as much, he wants me to understand and respect him for what he is doing for us....So the result is. Our kids are all troubled , his health is failing, and sex, what is it? He has no drive and goes limp too.I tried years of counselling for myself ,as he would not come.Now he is suffering from impotence due to his lifestyle.So he came with me to a therapist,and they told him, he needs to stop working that much. But he gets very nerves from this, and finds several excuses, why he can't.I'm at the end of my rope. I really wanted to stay married with him for ever, but can I ? Why is he doing this? Is he in denyl? Is he hiding his real feelings and covering it with work? What should I do?Is there anything else I can try ? Thanks
View related questions:
limp Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): Yes thanks, I will try it again. But the exuses are always ready to find ,why we can't... I do think, he is doing something what seems like hiding behinde work, How amI ever going to come out of this game, I don't know. Somewhat looks very hopeless. I'm losing a lot of energy, and time. I love to save , us but what if I can't?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): Thanks for yor responses.
The big problem is , that i tried to convince him about this several times.
Also others did try to tell him, the bad side of his actions.
But he built a complete system to defend himself.
Like if I tell him he needs to change this , here are the answeres.
-we have bills to pay
-don't stress me out, you just make things worst
So how can I win? thanks
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): I don't believe workaholics love work, I believe work becomes a shield from negative emotions. Him becoming a workaholic can result from several things, disappointment in a loved one, lost relations with children, not being able to communicate. The list goes on. Maybe think back to ten years ago when this started happening, what was going on then? How was your life different when he was happier and worked less then what it is from now or when it started happening ten years ago...something changed, something happened, what was it? I really feel in order for him to change he has to want to, he needs to see this is a problem. The second he admits he is working so much to fill a void, going back to a regular life will be half way there. Ask him what he thinks is going on, ask him why he thinks feels he needs to work so much, maybe try to help him confront himself by just putting the ball in his court subtly. And approach him gently, don't attack him, be compassionate and caring. Let him know your there for him and there are steps he can take to better himself and that you are going to help him the best you can. Doing the simplest things such as just resting to pet a dog for a few minutes, or stopping to enjoy the view is a positive for him in the right direction b/c then he is starting to enjoy the moment, enjoy "laziness". He will have to find new priorities, something that is as important to him as his career is. He can do this if he sees he has a problem and wants to change, and he can do this with your love and help.
...............................
|
