A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all. I am in a bit of a situation here. I used to date a guy online few years ago and it just ended. And few months ago he added me on facebook. We talked,exchanged numbers,texted and flirted all the time. Then one day he started talking dirty and I stopped him telling him I am not doing this untill I meet him in person. He said he was sorry and the texts and calls became infrequent. Few days ago,he texted me on viber. i was at work but we chatted and he said things like missing me(which he always did) and blah blah. But what shocked me was when I told about him disappearing from me,he told me that he has a gf! And they are together for five years! His actual words were that the girl isn't that beautiful but she cares about him alot and he likes her for that! And all this came as a shock to me. I was really mad at him for playing around and told him not to talk to me ever! He had the guts to tell me that he thought of me as a friend and asked me if I fell for him! I feel so so so stupid. I feel extremely bad for that girl and I am mad at myself for being so foolish. Although I don't care about him and I am not going to contact him ever,I can't get it out of my mind. Its always there and I can't concentrate at work. Please help...
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 April 2012):
 Cut all contact with him, un-friend him and block him from Facebook.
He didn't think of you as a friend (or he wouldn't have tried the talking dirty stuff earlier) He was hoping he could fool around with you behind his GF's back.
He sounds like bad news, glad you told him to get lost.
A
female
reader, jenny_jenny_j +, writes (26 April 2012):
 I feel for you, but you are not foolish. He is the one who's responsible for everything, because he had been hiding the fact that he has a gf of 5 yrs and still had the nerve to ask if you fell for him!!First of all, he is not content w/ his relationship/gf. It doesn't really mean he doesn't love his gf, he just wants more. I've seen a lot of guys... even girls who are like this. But what puzzles me is why he actually got honest with you and told you he has a gf of 5 yrs... maybe he wants you as his flirting buddy? or FWB? I had a similar experience in the past, only it led me to be "someone who got between in a relationship". You think it's just casual flirting in the beginning, but slowly it becomes something else, you think about him all the time, you need to talk to him... etc, it's just so addictive. Stop now while you still can, otherwise you will get into a messy relationship because it's harder for you to just let go given the fact that you already have feelings for this person. You feel like crap now because you feel betrayed and it hurts you to know he's such a liar. Oh, that experience of mine, did I mention I knew that guy online also?? Online dating is easy and convenient, but you need to open your eyes and really see if they are who they say they are! Lots of people lie about their relationship status because it's just really easy and tempting to tell everyone they are single.So, the lesson is, be careful who you meet online! I hope you can get rid of him asap, just find more activities to do with your frds in real life and I'm sure you will be able to get him out of your mind in no time. Good Luck!!
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (26 April 2012):
 Your not stupid.
You trusted this guy to be upfront with you , it was him who was stupid keeping the info about his girlfriend to himself. He sounds like an idiot for treating his girlfriend so crappy -and your better off without him -
You never knew about his girlfriend so although you feel bad for her, dont beat yourself up over it!
you didnt know she existed or else you would have acted different and cut contacts with him sooner.
You only found out a little later, so
Forgive yourself, and realise these things happen to teach us something.
Sometimes we meet lying people like this, so that we can stay guarded until they have earned our trust and we can allow them into our heart fully.
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