A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months and everything was going great however I did always feel a bit smothered, if I wanted to go out with my friends he ALWAYS wanted to come along. My ex boyfriend is an event ticket salesman and there were Aa few events he had free tickets for and all my friends were going. I knew there was no way my boyfriend would want me going with my ex, so I lied to him. Too be honest, at the time i I really didn't feel too bad about it because my ex and I are so done and COMPLETELY uninterested in each other in "that" way. I just wanted to be able to hang out with my friends! Well, my boyfriend ends up seeing my car parked at my ex's (we all met over there) and of course immediately assumed I'm cheating on him because, well, I guess that's what it looked like. Yes, I was wrong and I shouldn't have lied, but my boyfriend freaked out. He went off calling me every horrible name he could and then made really hurtful personal remarks - about my weight and how I don't have much money. I was later able to explain what happened and he apologized and told me that's not how he really feels but just said it bc he knew it would bother me. I understood, but then he saw pictures of us all at a concert and said those things again!I'm upset with him for saying such hurtful, cruel things that I don't want to be nice or appplogize for lying! He's upset with me for lying that he thinks I should be begging for him back!I know lying was wrong but I would never cheat on him and I just can't get these cruel words out of my head :(Please help us! We used to be so loving.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): People tend to get hurt and pissed off when they think they've got pretty clear evidence of being cheated on. I can understand his first blowup completely. The fact that you didn't actually cheat on him is irrelevant right then and there because you did lie to him and he had reason to assume it was cheating.
The second blowup is where I stop defending him. That sounded uncalled for.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): Obviously you shouldn't have lied. But anyone who says horrible things during a fight because he (or she) knows those things will hurt the other person is cruel. The longer you stick around and put up with him, the more verbally abusive he will become. Be thankful that you found out so quickly! Get out now and move on.
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A
female
reader, Celest  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 Hello dear,Though I don't like lies I don't blame you. As individuals we need our space and our time for being alone or with friends or family, indoor or outdoor... I dont know what is the worst in your situation... that you're with a guy who refuses to give you the space that you need?? Or that you're with a guy who makes you something that you re not ... a liar??? Or that you are with a guy who's pouring out an abusive vocabulary against you... ??? I don't think that is the right guy for you. But I 'll give you some advice and I hope that it 'll work.. Write him a letter. Explain to him how important is for you to have your space and your time and that you will love him to have the same. Tell him that his attitude made you a liar and this is pity, because you're not.. Tell him also that whatever the problem is, it is not acceptable to talk to you like that. Tell him that he should consider all these things because you really like/love him and you would like to continue being in this relationship.. Give him some time to think and be open to listen his point of view.. Try to adjust your relationship but don't compromise with your personal freedom and your dignity.. he should respect you no matter what, this is how it is. If he cannot follow that model of relationship than he is not mature enough and you shouldn't spend more time on him. All my best!!!
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (30 July 2011):
 He didn't express his anger or dissapointment at your actions, he attacked you as a person in an attempt to inflick as much emotional pain as possible. That a rotten thing to do to someone you supposedly care about even if they did lie to you about who they were hanging out with.In my book that says loads about his character as well as what you can expect from him in the future every time you guys have a dissagreement.Those words he used are stuck in your head for a reason, it's a reg flag telling you you need to get away from this guy. Imagine what a lifetime with this guys would do to your self image and self esteem? It would destroy you eventually. I say get out now before he gets the chance to do anymore harm.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): Lies are the poison of any relationship.
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