A
female
age
41-50,
*wyneth
writes:I am a very feminine, attractive, educated lesbian. I have never had any trouble meeting other women for relationships, but I recently had some emotional issues that needed sorting out, so I sought the help of a therapist.Ah me, that is where the trouble started. I saw her and my life as I had formerly known it ended. She was, quite simply, the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. She obliterated all my good intentions and noble ideas about life and love. She was fire, flood, and famine to me. Her astonishing blue eyes, her blonde hair, her exquisite smile, her breasts, her waist, her butt, her legs, her feet. Oh my Lord. I nearly fainted. To this day, the mere thought of her makes me shake.Forgive me for diverting. In any case, I saw her weekly for therapy. What began as an innocent attraction turned to a burning flirtation. She began touching me constantly, gazing at me lengthily, scheduling me at the end of the day on Fridays, keeping me longer than scheduled, giving me full-body hugs. Ultimately, I told her my feelings, but she said she could not act on her own feelings for me because of ethical considerations. It's been six months now since I ended therapy. I still cannot get her out of my head. Should I try to contact her? Should I just forget her? What to do?Gwyneth
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): Yes, Gwyneth, it is better to move on. Consider that if she were to take up with you, she could lose her licence and professional standing. Her reputation and livelihood.
She probably is not willing to risk that, do you think?
Sometimes it does take a while to get over being enamored of someone, but you have to try - and its not uncommon for a patient to fall in love with his/her therapist, you know! Its called "transference." Maybe you might want to think about seeking another therapist - a man, perhaps - to sort this out with?
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Gwyneth +, writes (27 February 2007):
Gwyneth is verified as being by the original poster of the question You make several very, very good points, and you have given me a lot to think about. I agree with you that she transgressed some boundaries with me in therapy, and I suppose that my concerns have been keeping me from contacting her because I don't want to make the matter worse for either of us. It's hard to stop thinking of her, but perhaps I should move on. I'm still TOTALLY enamoured with her though. Oh me.
Thanks again so much for the solid advice.
Gwyneth
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): NO, you should NOT get in touch with her! No matter that she treated you six months ago, it is not ethical for a therapist to have an affair with a patient, former patient or not.
It sounds as though she crossed some boundaries that ethically and professionally, she should not have, with giving you full body hugs, gazing at you and scheduling end of the day appointments on Fridays. She was compromising the standards expected of any therapist.
I suggest you treat this as a sweet memory, but not something to try to resurrect.
There must be plenty other women you'll fall in love with in time.
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A
female
reader, Gwyneth +, writes (26 February 2007):
Gwyneth is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your reply. I will consider ringing her and perhaps getting together for a quick drink if she is amenable to that idea. It would be wonderful if that happened. But, I don't want to push her professional boundaries in any way or appear disrespectful. However, our attraction was simply too overwhelming to forget, so I think it's worth a shot. I'll give it some thought. I cannot get this woman out of my mind!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): seeing as its been 6 months since therapy ended i cant see why her ethical considerations should get in the way seeing as she isnt ur therapist anymore. maybe u could just give her a call and ask her out for a drink as a thank you for all the help shes given u (and presumably how ur life has change for the better since shes given u therapy) and then take things from there?good luck!!!!
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