A
female
 ,
*una~
writes:I'm in a serious relationship with my bf of 1 1/2 yrs. I'm 23 and he is 25. I love him very much and I know he loves me very much too. We are now planning to move-in in the next few months. My bf had a divorce 3 years ago because his wife cheated on him. He was very young when he got married (19) and it was partly because of his unexpected daughter. I'm really bothered since I heard him say to his friends "he will never make the same mistake again about getting married", and "if so, it won't be at least for another 5-6 yrs". His friend said: I feel sorry for your gf, but your gf isn't the same as your ex-wife. It hurts me whenever I play these two lines in my head. I do want to get married, but it doesn't have to be soon (maybe 2 yrs from now). However, am I not good enough for him to consider me as his wife other than his gf? I'm scare our views on our relationship differs as time go by and it will affect us greatly. Do guys don't get married because he can leave the girl anytime without responsibility? I know I'm probably being silly. My bf loves me dearly, but I can't help feeling insecure about our relationship all of a sudden.
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (27 February 2007):
 Well you're young and I think it's so sensible that you say you're willing to wait for a few years but you do deserve to know if waiting will be worth it at the end of the day. Society tells us that marriage is the right thing to do but it is totally possible to be happy just living with someone without the big day to prove your love. Then again some people need that and, if you're one of them, you need to have aserious chat with him and find out if he means it about never getting married again and if that's true you have some serious soul searching to do.
CD
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): Men have many issues as I am sure you are aware, but one of them is that they always lead by example. Be it of their own life experiences or that of their friends. My advice, and it maybe limited...tell him what it is exactly that you want from life with him, and if it differs, consider your future wisely. Please dont hang in there because you think it will change, it wont. But you can.Think about it. He has a child. Have you discussed more children or is that another prickly area??Please dont waste what you have if there is an empty promise involved and take some very, very genuine advice and look after what it is you believe in.Life will pass you by very quickly and I would hate for you to sit back as I did and think...... I didn't get what I wanted???My words are meant in honesty, not judgement.Good Luck, take careMaria (39)(still waiting for him to marry me after 15 years!!!!)
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