A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have a big problem. I hope you can help.Last night opened my eyes quite a lot.Me and my boyfriend and some friends were out for New Year's Eve. We all drank a lot and my boyfriend's best friend, Jamie, kept hugging me and walking with his arm round me - my boyfriend had walked off with all of his friends and wasn't paying me any attention whatsoever throughout the entire night, it's usually like that on nights out though.. My boyfriend just gets "laddish". I really really fancy Jamie and he really makes me feel weird... like googly.. you know!After a while, my boyfriend and I had an arguement about a window that got smashed by accident by one of our friends, so I went for a walk to calm down.Meanwhile, my boyfriend went looking for me and when he found me he was like "WHERE THE F*** HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN FUCKING LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU."He doesn't normally speak to me like this.Then when I said that he'd really upset me, he started saying "I'M SICK OF YOU! YOU'RE ALWAYS GIVING ME SHIT. YOU'RE SUCH A SHIT GIRLFRIEND!" and walked off. I can't get these words out of my head.So I sat outside crying my eyes out. Jamie came over and put his arm round me and rubbed my arms to keep me warm because it was -4 degrees. I said "everyone hates me at the moment" and he said "I don't... I like you, I think you're ace." so I was "What do you mean "like"" and he said "Well.. you know what I mean, I like you, I think you're ace! And he looked at me and smiled and cuddled me. Then my boyfriend came back to tell me that I needed to get on the bus because it was the last one....My boyfriend has apologised a lot today.. blaming it on drink but I simply can't get the words out of my head. He always upsets me on nights out after drinking and it's making me go off him a lot.So, do you think I should split with my boyfriend? And do you think Jamie likes me back? I'm not sure whether he was just really drunk and messing around or not... but what he said about liking me, may have just been a friendly remark... any help?
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (1 January 2010):
 "He always upsets me on nights out after drinking and it's making me go off him a lot."
seems to me that you're ALREADY off him and ON his best friend. why are stringing along your current bf if you're feeling googly and wondering about someone else? I think your bf's anger was justified since new years can be made into a romantic day ( did you kiss at midnight? i would possibly be hurt my guy wasn't around for that either) and you didn't give him any attention and actually gave it to his best friend..do you really want to be with some guy that picks up his best friend's leftovers? what a vulture. yes I think he's trying to swoop in but I don't know how that's going to be a good relationship if he can't find his own girls and has to rely on his friend to find him one to get his digs into her and take over.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): You can either look at last night as a crappy way to end last year, or a great way to start this one! Your BF needs to become your former BF and SOON. His words, greased by liquid courage are his words... not someone else's... he expressed himself. He needs some time alone, to figure out what's wrong in his life... and you need to give it to him. If, in the mean time you find something better, oh well, that's life... but it's clear that he has issues and needs to be single to address them.
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