A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When I was a uni, I was in a relationship with this guy for 2 years. He was my first serious boyfriend and I loved him very much. We split up when I graduated and I left to go travelling for 2 years. Over the past 4 months, I finally started dating someone else and although that ended when I had to return home, it was good to know that I was definitely over him. But in the last month since I've been home, he keeps txting me and emailing and saying he's gonna come and visit. As much as I still consider him a friend, I really don't think that this is a good idea but I can't seem to find the words to tell him. The last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings but the last thing I want to do is to lead him on as well. What should I do? Is there anyway I can tell him no without making him upset and angry?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 June 2010):
Stop trying not to hurt him. There is no stopping that, and though you're trying to be nice, it's just not working. Be honest and tell him that you've moved on and that you don't want to go back.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 oh ive been there im a guy and im telling you to tell him you dont want him to visit your seing someone, your allready leading him on buy not being honest with him. you kno im starting to realze how selfish women are you dont want to hurt him because you dont want him to hate you but really you could care less about him. also if he really wanted to come see you he would just show up at your door i think he just wants you to say you want him to come visit. i was in the same situation i could tell she met someone cuse she never wanted me to visit i wasnt going to vist anyway because of logistical reasons but she never actually said not to visit just would act stupid. ughh
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A
male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 plain simple truth: you don't want him to come over. say it like that too.
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