A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am good looking guy 27 yo , i have been told many times from different people that i am very good looking and i have friendly and down to earth personality , but the point is that no one interested on me anymore ,, i don't know why i feel myself so empty , all my flatmates are couples , all my freinds are couples , everyone around is paratnered ,i feel myself alone most the time , i dont enjoy the occasions , such as Christmas or NYE cuz i am alone , even my freinds are always busy with their partners no one intersted to hang out with me, i am so depressed from all that , so down; i really need someone in my life but i cant found him i am trying all the posiblites to find a partner or love: online dating , clubs and bars , socializing but no one around but what i find ,the people that i am attracted to , they are not attracted to me, and the people that i am not attracted to , they are attracted to me i am sick of that this issue is pulling me down and down how i could stop thinking of finding partner and move and enjoy my life as single cuz i gave up
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): I understand how hard it can be to be single, especially if the people around you are in relationships. It can be a terribly lonely feeling.
However, the more you focus on this, the more it will bring you down. Everybody wants to love and be loved. It is wonderful to be with someone. But there are other things in life which are wonderful and can bring much happiness. Being in a relationship is only one of them.
It sounds like you have made finding a partner your main priority and concern right now. You are focusing on this so much that it is bringing you down, and you will not be able to notice and appreciate the things you do have going for you. The more you dwell on this, the more you think about what you don't have, the more it will get to you. The more you struggle, the worse it will feel.
I know it is hard, but I think you should try and relax about finding a partner. Sure, there are many wonderful things about being in a relationship. But there are less wonderful things too. Same with being single. There are negative sides, but there are also positives. I think it might help if you try and focus more on what you do have, not on what you don't. From reading your question, I understand that you have friends. That is a positive thing to have, some people have no friends at all. I'm sure you can probably find many other positive things about your life. Appreciate them, focus on those things. Even if it hurts when you see your friends with their partners, what makes you think that everything is perfect and rosy about their relationships? There could be problems that you can't see on the surface.
If you think you need a partner for your life to be complete, that empty feeling will last. But if you choose to believe that you are already complete, you feel start to feel that truth. Finding a partner then will be an added bonus, and not a necessity. And often in life, when we let go, when we stop struggling and just accept things as they are, we unexpectedly get that which we desire.
I hope something here helps. Don't give up hope, things will be alright. Take care. x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): I am guy who wrote the question . sorry i wrote by mistake him instead of her
Thanks guys for your answers i hope it would help
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A
male
reader, doom  +, writes (28 December 2009):
 you know there's nothing wrong with bisexual,just tell us and we can help or advice you more wisely))
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A
male
reader, Advice_man  +, writes (28 December 2009):
 I think DoubleM got the wrong impression, you don't sound like gay. I think where you write "...but i cant found him" you wanted to say "...but i cant found HER", right?That's the case? Because it's important information.
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A
male
reader, doom +, writes (28 December 2009):
"doubleM" has a point: if you are gay, take his aedvice.
But if not never just never give up.Try watching some inspiring films, go on youtube and watch "rocky balboa speach" i can tell you this really magical and GOLD words!! do'nt give am man))
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (28 December 2009):
 So you are apparently a gay male and looking for a guy? Well that's not my realm, but just go to gay hangouts.
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A
male
reader, Darren_Lee  +, writes (28 December 2009):
Oh don't ever give up on love! That is so silly!
It takes time to find a partner that is suited to you.
But these people who are attracted to you, but you're not attracted to them, try taking things further with them! it takes time to love someone, and you're not taking the time to find something to love about them!
Give it a go.
Darren.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): Well i really don't have that great advise for you but why don't you spend the holidays with your family? Also you just have to think positive and stop tryingso hard he will come when the time is right. Kind of corny but it is true
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