A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think there might be something wrong with me because i can't EVER have an orgasm with my boyfriend, doesn't matter what he does it just won't happen and its starting to make him feel bad.IT'l happen for me but i dont like to do it because it makes me feel dirty.Do you think theres something wrong?thanks
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female
reader, cryingheart  +, writes (24 May 2007):
I think it's more of an emotional thing.You must ask your self am I comfortable with him,do I trust him,does he really care about me?These are things that can definitely make you not have an orgasm.Because during sex you won't be thinking the sex you're having your mind will be else where.so I suggest you open up to your boyfriend and talk to him.It really helps trust me I was once there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): i have this probelm too, and i feel so guilty for my boyfriend. i don't want him feeling he is doing wrong here! we haven't had sex yet. when he mastubates me, i feel what he is doing, but i can't orgasm. i feel knumb down there. could it be something to do with some emtionall probs i have been thru?! i don't know what to do. is there vitamins i can take to boost my libido. he gets me wet, but i can't reach. even wheni do it myself, it's not all there. this is frustrating and upsetting for me. i wasn't like this before i met him and before the prob i have been and gone thru! can someone advise?!
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (18 April 2007):
A watched pot never boils.
The more you want an orgasm, the less likely it is to happen - a bit like those weird pictures you have to look at to see the real picture - the more you look, the less you can see the picture.
Enjoy the sex that you are having and make sure that whatever is happening you enjoy - don't worry about the end result.
If you have worked out what makes you have an orgasm when you are masterbating (which is not at all dirty) then maybe you can just make sure you put yourself in positions where you get similar. Remember that you can touch yourself DURING sex too, you know, if you're not quite getting what you want - it's quite acceptable!
But just focus on having fun and enjoying yourself, and when you're not watching, the pot will boil!
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A
male
reader, Dr. Mark  +, writes (18 April 2007):
First, there is nothing dirty about you stimulating yourself. Think of it as good practice. You know best what makes you feel good. Most guys don't mind when a woman stimulates herself in front of him. It can be a turn on. Talk to him while you do it, and tell him it turns you on to have him watch.
For some women, it can take a long time before the first time having an orgasm with a partner. Just have fun and enjoy it. Try not to focus on climaxing itself, but just enjoy the pleasure along the route.
Now, your boyfriend may need some reasurance too. If he is trying, and not just being selfish, then that's a great start. You should tell him what feels good, and what feels great, and encourage him. He might have it in is mind that all women always have orgasm. Let him know that it's not always like that. Sex should be fun for both of you. It can be a stress reliever, and should not be adding pressure to either partner.
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A
female
reader, XXpussycatXX +, writes (18 April 2007):
hiya chicks.....
all you need to do is relax tell him what pushes your buttons i know its frustrating but take time and explore eachothers needs and wants you will finally get there.it is none of your fault so dont worry..if you have to explore and get to know yourself and then tell your bf he will thank you for it
xxx
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