A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've recently joined a band and have feelings for member in it. He asked me if I liked him but I didn't want to make things awkward in our band so said know even though I really like him. Over the last few days a friend of mine has been talking to him and I think they both really like each as they always go on about the other one. My friend knows I like him but that I can't go out with him and I've denied liking him to his face, but if anything happens between them it'll hurt me badly. Please help me i cant bear it much longer but don't feel I can confront them. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (31 October 2012):
 You have feelings for a guy, so you lied to him??
Sorry, but it's unreasonable for you to deny a guy both your companionship plus the companionship of anyone else. If you decline to date him when given the chance, that makes him FAIR GAME. You shouldn't be hurt. If anything, this should be a splash of ice water on your heart to remind you that if you like a guy, GO TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
Your friend is well within her rights to pursue him. You are responsible for that happening. YOU caused this situation to happen. It would have stopped cold if you had been honest, even if to tell him "I like you very much, but I'm worried about it changing things in the band".
You have a choice, tell the guy the truth, or deal with the situation. Your friend hasn't betrayed you, because you stone cold rejected the guy to his face. What are they supposed to do??
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