A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Confused and frustrated, I don't know what to do, my boyfriend and I have been having a LDR for a year and a 1/2 now. Been together 10 years. He just relocated a few months ago, to another new area and job. We have lived together in the past and I recently lived w him for a few weeks in his apartment, in his new work location. I was able to get a job in the same area, but it did not work out, not enough money, and could not find an extra job for supplemental income. I had to go back to my business in another state, which pays alot more. He said if I stayed or come back he will help me get an apartment and pay 1rst months rent. I cannot live w him he says, after August because he is building a new house, and it's better I don't live w him. He makes good money, but I know his parents (who are in the same area) are helping him w the house financially. They do not like me, so they seem to be calling the shots now w him. He is primary now on their will and it seems he does not want to piss them off. He was also mad or as he said disappointed that I had to leave to go back to work at my other job, just when his kids are visiting him for 10 days. He wanted us to play mommy and daddy w his kids he said, and now he has to do it alone. I have texed him and called him the last couple days and he will text me once and then ignore me. Before he was texting and calling constantly to get me to come with him. For the record I have always been there for him with his kids in the past and he has never changed his plans to be with my kids. I have to be able to pay my bills. Also I have helped him through health issues, unemployment etc... I want change, I dont know if I should move to the same area as him now. it seems like the games will continue on.... Hurts because I love him... But I want to be able to make a living and be happy. I know I cant fully count on him for too long.
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female
reader, ctds001  +, writes (28 June 2010):
Hey Honey,
I think you are asking should you relocate for this gentleman?
Well you gave it a try and it didn't work out financially.Couldn't he have helped more 1st time round?
You need to sit down and decide does this man do everything he can to make you happy?
If you can not rely on him? If not, should you really relocate when you will become more dependent on him for your happiness!
The game playing with the texts, is not very mature of him. Don't you want to be in a more established relationship which means your partner is not pandering to he's parents demands.
Is this relationship role model for your children, would you wants this in the future for them?
Please you must do what is best for You.
Good Luck x
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