A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I've been in a relationship for nearly 3 years, is a long term friend that went further, she is married and has intended on leaving her husband but we have had set backs, we've had our ups and downs as any normal "proper" couple go through, we spend lots of time together as we also work in the same environment. Only 10 months ago, within the same place of work, i met another person who contacted me thru a networking forum, didn't know she liked me, but we started talking and as she asked if i was with this person as it's not known, she still wanted to get to know me. We met up and got on really well, same kind of stupid, childish manor, happy go lucky! She knew of my relationship, but couldn't help falling for me and eventually so did i. I had been married previously, had a jeolous wife and the way i'd been treated is almost some what similar to the way this married person is, even though we get on fantastically most the time. This new girl isn't like this is any way shape or form, probably due to being almost 14 years younger than me. It's been coming for a while now, but she can't take being 2nd best anymore, which i agree with, so as of the other day we decided to call it a day, without any hurtful or nasty way at all. I'm just so confused now, my heart is telling me to be with this girl, but almost feel obliged to be with this married woman, even though she is now and supposedly getting close to leaving her husband. Trouble is, i get on really well whilst with her, but do feel i can't be completely myself, we share loads in common, but i also do with this other girl. I know i can't have my cake and eat it and i've probably given myself the answer to this dilemma in writing this, but i keep asking why i haven't got the balls or backbone to say how i really feel, i feel such a wimp. Please help!
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female
reader, Mommy Dearest  +, writes (28 September 2008):
 well,
What I can say is that if a women tells you she is going to leave her husband and hasn't in three year I don't think she is going to soon. She eventually but not now. At this point she is having her cake and eating it too.
I think that you should try to move on. Be with the lady that you can be with, and not hide her. You should be happy and flaunt the beautiful girl you are with.
I know it's easier to say then do. I hope that all works out.Oh and try not to think about who you are going to hurt. Someone is going to get hurt no matter what.
A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (28 September 2008):
 Hey you,
Can I just say, I've been that cake, and I've been eaten too, so I suggest you find your balls and strengthen that backbone of yours and make a decision, before someone ends up really hurt.
Best of luck in what you decide.
BigSis
xXx
Now.... where's that fresh cream chocolate eclair??
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