A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend has a drug problem and he broke up with me because of it almost a year ago. I am still having a hard time moving on and still love him. I feel like if I move on I am abandoning him and everyone else in his life has given up on him. When we broke up I felt like he just needed time to get over his addictions and needed to do without me. After the break up he just got worse and now he is a totally different person than before he relapsed. I still love him so much and in some ways feel responsible and that maybe there was something I should have done different. When we were together I felt like if I loved him enough he would change, but now I feel like the only way to help him is if he went to a rehab program or had some type of professional help. He went to rehab programs before and none of them helped. I just feel like I can't move on and that I need to fight for the man I love. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? I can't be completely happy in the relationship I am in now because I feel like I can't let go of my ex. I want to fight for him but feel helpless and don't know if anything I do will help. My ex and I don't talk anymore but we have some of the same friends so I have seen him a few times. I still talk to his brother, but don't really have any other contact with his family. Is there anyway I can move on and stop loving my ex? Also is there anyway I can help him with his addictions?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 April 2010):
 You have given your best to your ex and there is nothing more you can do about him.
You need to accept reality and it is not fair to you and your present relationship .
He is in God's hand.He may have to descent to the lowest level before he can make a U turn in his life.
All you can do now is pray more for him and move on with your life.
You cannot help others if they don't want your help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010): I think I understand how you feel, and I am sure we have all had left over feelings for a lost love.
To be on the realistic side, your feelings are contrary to what is happening currently in your life. Letting go of your ex, to stop reliving the past, to move on into the future and to live in the present are all choices you need to make for yourself.
The posters below me have explained how this is his problem and he must do it himself.
If you were my friend I'd hate you a lot for saying stuff like this. You came out of a relationship with a druggy, and even found a new love and now all you seem to do is talk about you ex over a year ago, implying some foolish thought that he still loves you. I would think you are just spoiled, because life is too good for you and you need some drama in it. Having said all this I don't understand the situation 100% so this is just my own personal rant.
I wish you all the best in your decision.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 April 2010):
The one thing everyone who has a partner who has problems hopes is that they will change. And it's the one thing that rarely happens. I'm sure you've heard the saying 'change comes from within'? Well it applies here, very much so. No matter how much you love him, want him to change or try to help him, if he will not do it for himself, then he won't do it at all. You can't fight for someone who won't do it themselves. You're just wasting time and life. If you are not over this guy, then you should't be in any relationship until you are, because that's not fair to the other person. You need to cut this man out of your life and work on yourself. You can't help him. He must do it himself. That last thing you need is in 20 years to still be hung up on this guy, and to have never found love at all. Let him go entirely.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (8 April 2010):
 I'm not sure how to go about it but there is this show named intervention and it deal with addicts and it makes them see how their addiction is ruining their life and the life of the people that loves them. In reality though you can't help him unless he wants to be helped himself. You and his family have tried everything in your hands to help, and rehab didn't work, and he even lost you and maybe his family because of his addiction problem. Yet he still don't seek help or tries to change because he has let the drugs control him. He has been sober in rehab but yet he cornered himself back into drugs. If you can't be in peace with yourself could be because you became a co-dependent and might need help yourself, try going to groups look for help do not let his drug problem control your life.
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