A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Please Help. I dont feel like i can go to my mum with any problems i have, in the past, told her stuff. One time i told her something. i never told anyone, i trusted her not to tell anyone. so I told her. Then i found out she had told her best friend. i was so dissapointed i thought my mother would treat her daughter's request for privacy with respect and that I would mean more to her that she would not gossip to a friendI had been talking to this guy for 6 months, he lived in one part of my country and and i lived in another part. We were both falling for each other but i didnt want to get with him, as the distance would be a problem. For months i didnt know what to do, so he suggested i spoke to my mum about it. I did, and all i got was negativity. She didn't ask about him, she didnt want to know anything just sat and listened to me then said no to me getting with him. I was crying my eyes out and she didnt comfort me.I have had this problem for 2-3 years now and i have never told anybody. I'm scared because i dont know what it is, and im too shy to go and ask my doctor - i cant tell my mum as i feel she will just ignore me again or tell me to stop being stupid.I really feel like i dont have a mum, who i can talk to about anything, who i can trust, who will comfort me, who can also be my bestfriendHow can I get my Mum to see there is a problem between us? instead of her just dismissing me.
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 *hugs
Moms are not meant to be best friends. Moms are meant to be caretakers first. If she feels that you are not making good decisions, she has a right as your Mother, to steer you towards better ones.
I am sure it hurts that your Mother betrayed your confidence with something personal. You need to tell her how that makes you feel.
Since you need medical attention, you will need to put aside your personal pride to take care of the need. You could be putting your health at great risk, because you do not want to be embarrassed.
You could tell your mother than you are having "feminine issues" that you are too shy to talk to her about and want to see a Dr. Let her help you. Then be completely honest with your Doctor and let him know that your Mother discusses too much information with her friends and it hurts you.
See the Dr first and get your medical problem addressed before approaching the emotional ones with your Mom.
Later you need to open up about why you do not trust her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): Wow, I know EXACTLY how you feel. My mum is the same way. She doesnt even try to be open-minded...she just says no, or points out the negative aspects. And on the topic of boys, she is completely unsupportive.
I've stopped telling her things. I've learned, that like your mum, she will just tell her mother or my dad. Sometimes, mother daughter conversations should be kept pivate. I hate invasions of my privacy more then anything.
Instead, I've found myself a friend, a mother figure who is roughly ten years older then me, who has a lot of life experience and very good advice...and also actually listens.
I suggest, if you are not getting the proper friendship you need with your mum, you find a good friend who will help you and support you.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (12 August 2011):
Hi there. You haven't said what the medical problem actually is.
Whatever it is, you do need to go and see your doctor, because he is the only one who can do tests on you to properly diagnose what the problem is.
Don't worry about being shy or embarrassed about it, your family doctor is the only one who can help you with this.
Also, don't worry that he'll tell your mother, because he has a strict doctor patient confidentiality obligation to you as your family doctor. So whatever gets said about your health, will remain between you and him only.
So don't delay seeing him any longer. Your health is really important.
The longer you leave seeing him, you are just going to go on worrying for nothing and making yourself ill over what might well be something very minor indeed.
Go and see your doctor ASAP. Don't delay it another day longer.
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