A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I'm 18 years old and dating an absolutely fantastic guy. He's wonderful, treats me well, everything is great. So obviously that's not a problem.The problem is gifts and things. This guy comes from a pretty wealthy family, he works hard for his money, and he likes to buy me things. He doesn't shower me with tons of gifts, but he does very thoughtful things. He bought me a beautiful necklace, he sends me flowers for no reason...just generally spends lots of money on me and says he enjoys doing it.Problem is, I'm a college student (he's not). I have a part time job. I'm broke all the time. There's no way I can repay him with nice gifts and surprises and I feel awful for it. I want to be the type of girlfriend who sends him little things for no reason other than I love him, but I just can't afford it. I've done other things, like made him frames and scrapbooks and sentimental stuff, and he says he loves it, but I feel so bad that I can't afford to drop money on him the way he does to me.What can I do? Do you know an cheap sweet gifts I can give him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007): Try giving him gifts that convey your feelings to him. If you can sew then make him a scarf or sweater that he can put around himself when your not there. Or write him love notes with lipstick kisses on them and leave them around in places where he'll find them. He says he loves sentimental things so keep those coming. Maybe plan a day out with him. Long walks on the beach are considered the stereotypical romantic activity. Though there is no reason to limit it to a beach. Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 The guy is supposed to pay for everything. It's basic manners. All that most guys is expect in return is for you to be faithful, and be loving to him as often as you can...
DV1
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): You don't specify he is your bf. He's very likely looking for a relationship, and is the "very attentive" type. He must know your situation and infer you can't reply same way... If he were your bf, you'd tell him his presence is enough. Look, tell him you feel flattered by his gifts, and they're "too much". Make sure though it does not sound as a reproach and doesn't set him back!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 My dear, I don't think you have a problem here. Your man knows you can't afford the things he can. I take it he was a student sometime; and I suppose he knows you're not wealthy. I don't think there is a need to "repay" things when you love someone.
Seems like he's a guy who thinks that the value of things, and not their price, is what matters. You said he works hard for the money. Now, he willingly spends on you. Isn't that nice?
Now, if what you want is to make him feel that you reciprocate his love, money is not the way to go. You can make small but meaningful things for him and I'm sure he'll love that.
And, the best way to reciprocate his love is to make him feel that you don't love him for the things he gives you. Show him you love him for who he is. Believe me, this is the best you can do for him.
PS: Enjoy the presents! You will make him feel appreciated, too.
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A
male
reader, Mad-Hat-Matt  +, writes (22 June 2007):
Im sure he does it cus he wants to not cus he expects something back and if you want cheap then cook a meal or but some dvd now and then even leave little notes around his house of room for him so he knows you care which im sure he does. Dont worry about it but if you really want cheap gifts then try birthdays or a card store or even the internet and you can pik up wee gifts from a pound upweards
Good luck
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