A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:basicly my problem is i cannot satisfy my girlfreind no matter what i try i cannot make her orgasmi recently found out she has been faking them to make me feel better and this has made me feel rather bad knowing that i cannot satisfy heri just want to make her feel good and enjoy herselfAlso she wants sex and ti make me cum to stop her being paranoid about me watching porno and thinking shes not good enough.i dont know if thats part f the problem cus she never seems very intrested in sex she seems more worried about that.we only ever have sex for about 10 minutes and then she tells me to stop because she claims she is worried about getting pregnant (this is probably because i am terrilbe in bed)i cant make her orgasm with foreplay , we never do tht very long either she just asks me to screw her.i certainly cant make her orgasm during sex either, just to make her orgasm during foreplay wolud make me feel abit better about myselfi have recently become very depressed about all of thisi just want to be able to make her orgasm either with foreplay or sex or bothany tips?
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depressed, foreplay, orgasm, porn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): Have you had any relationship problems other than the sex issue? I used to be able to climax with my partner so i know everything worked. But following a bad patch in our relationship when he let me down really badly, i stopped being able to climax with him. I`d gotten over things but it was as if my body was sulking with him!
Its a long shot but try talking to her about anything else in your relationship that might be bothering her, because she might be very uptight with you about something you arent even aware of. And this could be making her hold back. Also try and discover her erogenous zones and start introducing her to foreplay that way. Make it fun and just ask if she feels anything when you nibble the back of her neck ect. It sounds as if she hasnt been with an experienced man before, its just been wham bang thank you maam. So she wont understand how very sexy foreplay can be. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshes on birth control and we usualy do use condomsbut shes permanently paranoid about somethingeither pregnancy or that im not intrested in her
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe can orgasm herself though
she also says im not doing anything wrong
am i ?
is there any tips from a girl as to what feels good in foreplay and the best positions during sex?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just thought i should point out that if we do go without sex my girlfriend becomes increasingly paranoid that i would cheat on her or watch porn
we communicate fine we can openly talk about sex with each other thats not a problem
she says that she doesnt need to orgasm and she gets enough out of what we do but i struggle to believe that
also i dont know if she fakes it because of paranoia but she is almost permanently horny and wanting sex
is this because im not satisfying her?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): If it's possible, can you get rid of the pornography.. that makes things worse, as she'll be comparing herself to the women in them movies. Also, listen very carefully to all the advice you have been given. I know you say it dosen't work, but your hurrying things, just like she is. Eventually with time and patience, as part of a loving relationship, hopefully she will get more comfortable with her body and yours. I don't think sex toys help, they probaby frighten her. Don't let her hurry you into sex, if she's not comfortable with foreplay, then just massage her with oils instead. Sex shouldn't be hurried, rushed, or something quickly gotten done. Your the guy, stay in control, she dosen't know what she is doing, and you following her advice is proably making things worse. Be gentle, very gentle, but firm. It dosen't matter if she has an orgasm, some women don't, but take enough time to touch and carress her, so at least she can relax and look forward to being close to you. Hopefully this should spark of her sexual desire in time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionanother point is she never wants to do much foreplay beforehand
she always wants to go straight to the sex ?
so anything we do doesnt last long at all
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): You are definitely falling "short" of the mark. I recommend that you try substituting in a hired roving dong man. At night make like you're going to do the nasty and turn off the lights. Quietly get your roving donger into the room and into the position you usually take. Let him do his thing while you stay close at hand to answer any surprise questions she may ask.
When he's done simply lead him out to safety and climb back into bed with your sweety so you can take all the credit for yourself.
It worked wonders for my relationship. At least now she's happy and I can get some decent sleep each night.
Good luck my stubby friend!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have tried her on top
she says she doesnt like it
she only ever likes it from behind
but probably the longest we ever do it for is like 10 mins
dont ask me why she wont use a sex toy
she would rather just use her fingers
she wont even finger herself
is it just her being self concious because she can orgasm on her own but not when she masturbates in front of me?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe refuses to use a vibrator or any toy what so ever
so i dont know what to do
nothing seems to work
how can i make her more comfortable with climaxing?
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A
female
reader, marriedchick  +, writes (14 October 2009):
 she may just feel a little uncomfortable doing it in front of you, remember being able to climax has a lot to do with your mind. You should take the first step and put the vibrator on her and not verbally but let her know you indeed want to please her, and also ask her if you are on the spot.... not every 5 seconds lol but you get the idea!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe can herself
but she cant when she masturbates in front of me
is that a confidence thing or what?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): hi mate - this is pretty simple. The way I look at "sex" is the way I tought myself it ...
1. Learn how to make a girl cum with your fingers.
2. Learn how to make a girl cum with your tongue.
3. Learn how to make a girl cum during sex (by adding in 1 & 2)
Women respond best to slight pressure on their clit. Rub it gental, rub it hard, lick it gental, lick it hard - mix it up etc etc.
If you can't achieve 1 or 2 then you shouldn't have your cock anywhere near her. It's a right of passage and if you ask most women they will prefer 1 or 2 most of the time.
Good luck ! Its the bump at the top ;0)
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A
female
reader, marriedchick +, writes (14 October 2009):
First of all don't feel bad about this it is very hard to get a female to cum try giving her oral sex; if you have never done it before you would have to research and practice because nothing is worst than having to sit there and you know you are not going to cum by this. first of all make her feel relaxed in the situation with a lot of foreplay to get her aroused, once she is on her tip go down on her you will know when she is really enjoying it. Another alternative will be to try different positions certain positions allow the penis to rub against the clit during sex but this will only work if you are rock hard. If you masturbate a lot you might not be as hard in her as you can be and trust me girls do notice when you are half soft.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): Some women never do orgasm. You could be a nuclear powered sex machine and it wouldn't make any difference.
The good thing is that most of those women enjoy the sex even if they don't reach a mind-blowing climax, so rest easy.
My first wife was a bit like that. I could screw myself into the grave and she'd still be trying to 'get there'.
For a lot of women, an orgasm is not all that important, but you could try asking her to tell you what to do to please her. Tell her you need instructions on how to make her 'arrive'.
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A
female
reader, FemFetale +, writes (14 October 2009):
First question. Does she know how to pleasure herself? It is hard to teach someone how to give pleasure if they themselves have not experienced it. Fom the tone of the question you are very young and inexperienced and require alot of time to get to know and explore each other. That would be a great start. Learn to crawl then walk before you can run.
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