A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married since Sept. 07 and I am 7 months pregant. The only way that I can have an orgasm is if I am on top. We used to mostly have sex that way, he seemed to like it a lot too. But the last few months, when I try getting on top, his erection goes down as soon as I get on top. It's not b/c I am pregnant b/c we have a 9 month old and it never bothered him before, he actually semeed to like it. He doesn't have problems with doing it doggy style. And that is the way we've been doing it lately, but I am frusterated, I can't orgasm that way. And I can't with oral, or fingering, only me on top. So I haven't been able to orgasm in I'd guess 2 months because of this. Now it's to the point where I don't try getting on top b/c I fear rejection and frusteration and dissapointment so much. He has been telling me to try, but I am too scared of it going down again. HE got mad at me last night and seems to be taking it out on me. He said the reason he thinks it goes down is because he's thinking that it will and is afraid that it will, but why did that even start hapening in the 1st place? I wake up during the night and I want it really bad, b/c I am pregnant and all the blood seems to be rushing down there and it's so intense that it wakes me up, it is annoying b/c I just want to be able to sleep and there's no relief b/c if I try it always goes down, and we can't have sex! I do have a viberator, but he gets offended if I want to use it, so basically I have to suffer. The lat few nights, I cut him off sex telling him if I can't do it, you're not going to either (doggy style) What can we do? At this point it's so awkward and I feel stupid about the whole thing so I don't want to try to see if it will work so I just suffer.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): There is nothing wrong with her, some women can only reach an orgasm while on top. Be thankful that you can actually have an orgasm. Try doing it doggy style and ease back with him laying down and you facing away from him, it feels great and he gets a good view of the other side. And if all else fails have him use the viberator on you, but you are right if he cannot help you out dont help him, there is no shame that it falters sometimes, just like we dont always orgasm he needs to realize that and if he cannot do it then find another way or let you do it yourself.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Have you ever given him some oral stimulation? Just a suggestion. Even just a couple minutes of fellatio is likely to get most any man erect and keep him that way for some while. If he eventually begins to lose enough erection, re-stimulate orally and remount. It is not unusual that many women have a hard time reaching orgasm in either the missionary or other positions, but woman-on-top usually provides better clitoral contact or stimulation. An interesting position is a variation of this. Basically the same, but the man places his legs up and over the lady's. This really increases clitoral stimulation intensely because the penis pretty much rubs right against it and the lady controls most of the action. Can't draw a diagram here, but think about it.And ultimately, if your husband is willing and really wants you to be satisfied, see if he will perform cunnilingus at length until you climax.It has been addressed in some detail on dearcupid.com recently in other answers. But I don't know why he is having this problem if he was able to perform before in the position, except that the newness of the marriage and the sex may be waning a little. Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (23 January 2008):
 There is something psychological going on here, with the both of you. There are a lot of things you can do though. I know you've said you can't orgasm in other ways, or positions. But there are sex help guides out there that can help, if anything, put the excitement back in your sex life. There are probably different positions you have not even thought of trying. Often when people are together for a while their sex life gets a little,... predictable. He knows that you want to do it that one way everytime to get off. And the fact that he still wants you to try definitely says that he is thinking of your happiness. But even though he has never complained, it is probably not a position that works for him. So don't give up, just try new things.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (23 January 2008):
This sounds like one symptom caused by many problems. You're pregnant for the 2nd time in one year - the pregnancy itself is a contributing factor, your other child is a contributing factor, your recent marriage is a contributing factor, your fairly young age is a contributing factor.
Please find a marriage counselor or therapist who can help you untangle all these things.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Try sex in the wee early mornings because the man's penis will harden and sometimes they can be hard for a long time as long as 2 hours for some.The men's penis can harden when they are asleep.Most men usually wake up with a hardened and erect penis.
Make sure , he has enough sleep. Sleep is important to his libido.The other is a proper diet and exercise.
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