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male
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*dude
writes: Dear Cupid,I am a 25 yrs old guy and have been finding this thing hard to understand for a long time now. I only feel aroused when i am able to connect emotionally / intellectually with a girl. Just watching beautiful girls with less clothes doesn't create even the slightest of jitters in my bottom. I also realized that i need quite some stimulation from girl's side as well before i feel ready for having a go. At times it is almost like i want them to seduce me in to doing something, otherwise i don't care. Some girls have even tried in that regards but i have put them off because of the reason i mentioned. It is as if i want them to initiate and take lead in to making me have a relationship with them. I am seriously concerned about all this. Is this normal ? or Do i have a deeper problem with having relationship with a girl? In a way, i am afraid of commitments. I have had good relationships with a few girls but found it hard to commit and so i moved on. Reply to this Question
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reader, pops +, writes (31 August 2005):
NO this is not normal. See a Psychiatrist soon. Really, you have deep seated emotional problems, which you have not disclosed here. You may have surpressed a part of your life, and don't really know why you are acting the way you do. At 25, you should be enthusiastically checking out every good looking woman you see, and checking out all the other women, too. See a doctor.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2005): Hey!
I know someone with the same problem. But really i think this is not a problem at all. I think many girls are looking for a guy like you. Many girls are like as well. They only sleep with someone when they feel a real connection. You just haven't met such a girl. You should go to places where you are more likely to meet these kind of girls. At universities, for example, not at nightclubs.
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