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female
,
*essica1787
writes: Hello. What I am really looking for is advice. I have a really BIG problem. I am gay. But that is not the problem. Me and my partner have just separated while my best friend's boyfriend was in jail. Her and I started a relationship, and it was more than that. At first we didn't think that it would go as far as it did. I started staying with her while he wasn't around. I was helping her with her kids. We were working together, like we were together. We got very very close. We were staying up all night talking. When we were away from each other, either I was calling her or she was calling me. She told me that she loved me every day. She said she loved him also. They have been together for four years. They have 2 kids together. I've known them both for 3 years. He really treats her bad though. He cheats on her, calls her names. She has told me that he once called her someone else's name while sleeping with her. I really don't understand why she would wait for him to get out of jail. He went to jail for stealing guns. He is a felon. I just don't understand. Well..a few days ago he got out of jail and she still tells me that she loves me and that she wants to be with me. She says that she is scared of her kids not having a dad. She grew up without a father, so she is with him and it is driving me crazy because I very, very much care about her. I love her kids. I got very attached to them while I was there. I was feeding them and bathing them. I paid for the roof over their head. So I really need to know what to do. Every time me and her talk all we can do is fight because I don't understand. If she loves me and I love her, why can't we be together? Should I leave her alone? Should I try to just be friends and ignore my feelings? Please please please help me with this problem. I just need to know what to do. I'm so lost.
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female
reader, mamma +, writes (9 July 2005):
Leave her alone and find somewhere else to stay.If she really loves you and wants to be with you then she will come to you.She didnt want to walk away from her partner while he was in prison and i cannot fault her for that.If he is so bad to her then she should leave him but you cant force the issue no matter how much you love her.You cant pretend it didnt happen because you have obviously fell deep for this woman but you cant make her leave him.Her kids will always have a dad but living with a convicted felon isnt doing them any good either.Give it a while but let her know you will only wait so long as you have a life too.
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