A
female
age
51-59,
*racewhy
writes:What do I do?My husband and I have been together for 12 years (married 7). About 3 years ago he had an affair, it was completely unexpected and I didn't realise we even had any problems. I forgave him and he promised me it was all over.About 6 months-1 year later I suspected he was still seeing her, he always denies it. We havn't had sex now for about 18 months, at first he was too tired, then he blatantly was not interested so I gave up as just felt I must be really ugly, or unsexy or just crap compared to the other woman. Anyway, last week I got back from playing sport and he'd left me a note saying he needed to get away for a bit and had rented a flat a couple of miles away.I am devestated I love him dearly, he will not talk about it, won't tell me what's wrong, he wouldn't when he had the affair either and now I'm stuck at home just crying all the time. He says he might come back, he might not, I still don't know if he is seeing the other woman or not, I have all her contact details should I contact her and find out. Should I cut my losses (I love him sooo much I cannot imagine doing this)Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): BLOODY GOOD RIDDANCE!!! Get a grip. He treats you like cr*p, cheats on you and you love him! What is wrong with you? He may come back. CHANGE THE LOCKS!!! Don't let him back into your life. What a bloody nerve some people have. You deserve better and do not settle for less! You are a beautiful person and do not let anyone else ever have you convinced that you are not. Never let anyone get you in this state of mind. You will survive. Time is the best healer, although i would be dancing around the room for joy if i was you. It is the best thing that could of happened - i am sure you will not feel this way for now, but you will. Be strong and you can keep in touch if you want. Don't let him come back.
Take care and loads of hugs from me to you.
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): This man, your husband-isn't good for you. He is emotionally unhealthy for you.
Why would you want someone who can abandon you time and again when he feels like it?
Please seek out some individual counselling to help you get to a stronger, happier mental and emotional state so you can see this with new eyes and realize that he doesn't know how to love you and may not even care to.
It sounds harsh but how much can you take with this emotional abuse?
I say counselling first.
And he needs to commit to a decision.
He sounds like someone who doesn't really understand the words compassion, consideration, respect, and love and what they mean and how you show these to someone you choose to have a life with.
Please work on getting stonger.
Best Wishes.
*hugs*
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